I have a girl who loves me so

But there's a few things she doesn't know

I have a girl whose love is true

She don't know what I get up to

And then

When she's not around

Oh, when she's not around

I'll bury her bras six feet underground

When she's not at home

When she's not at home

I do naughty things to the garden gnomes

I have a girl who loves me so

But there's a few things she doesn't know

I have a girl whose love is true

She don't know what I get up to

And then

When she's not in

Oh, when she isn't in

I dig around in the garbage bin

Oh, when she isn't here

When she isn't here

I drink too much, then I piss in your beer

When she's off at work

Oh, when she's off at work

I'm naked in the bushes and there I lurk

Oh, yeah, when she is out

Oh, when she is out

I wear all her clothes and I mince about