I'm tryna write but I keep gettin' sidetracked

I really like him and I think he has a nice laugh

And I'll drink his bath water, and I think he's hotter

And I'd hit it like Bing Crosby hit his daughter

I stalk him on the internet

He probably thinks I'm Jessi Slaughter

Even my father says to find a-nother

I mean another, so I'll ask my mother

And maybe she will smother me in Blink 182

I don't steal lines, but this one is kinda true:

"I tell 'em that I love 'em, but I never really do"

And I couldn't find a good way to say "I love you"

So fuck you and your stupid tattoos

You used to like girls, but you only like shoes

I hate the world, and I love your shampoo

And your soap, and your deodorant all over my pillow

You make my day, I whip my hair, I think I'm Willow

And I like you like Samantha likes Nutella crepes

You think it's funny when you joke about rape

So we'll see if it's funny in the back of my Escape

That's a Ford, you're a whore, and I'll catch it on tape

Tell the police, I'll just tell 'em it's fake

Tell your mommy on her coffee break

I'll sit around, pickin' at a coffee cake

Wait for you to text me, staring at the MacBook

I'm kinda cute, and I swear I'm not a bad cook

I'd hold your hand if you took me out

We made plans, but you shook me out

And you made me think I'm bad lookin' now

You're walkin' on my swag, and I'm under cooked now

Instead of raw like I used to be

And if you're usin' me, I can use a bat on you

When you wear that hat, Stussy

I'll put the cat on you, tit-for-tat on you

But I don't have tits, so you don't look at me

In your Castles & Crooks tee

I say "hi", but you only stare crookedly

Fuck