I need a car and a house and a phone

And some new shoes sewn by an eight year old

I need a tan and a dance and a song

And a handsome man to impress my mom

I need a break and a pat on the back

And a steak and a bath and a yoga class

With a frozen daq and an ounce of weed

Bitch what don’t I need

I need a pet and a fence or a cage

A gym membership and a Mexican maid

I need a look and a style and a trend

And a large print book with a happy end

I need a kiss and a reason to laugh

Big tits, bit of cash, bees in the trap

And a freaking map to navigate these streets

Bitch what don’t I need

I need a note and a call or a text

And a priest to confess and a Sunday dress

I need to sweat to drink and fight

Do enough drugs til I’m not thinking right

I need a bass and a kick and a snare

And a smile on my face as I’m facing the mirror

Make a pile of mistakes at a breakneck speed

Bitch what don’t I need

I need a light and a breeze from the south

And a checking account with a decent amount

I need to fuck, to argue and fuss

Better man up quick and grow a pair of nuts

I need a job and a boss and a roof

I need a God and a cross and the proof

I need to watch the news for a shooting spree

Bitch what don’t I need

A chemical peel, cinnamon chex, a way to escape my imminent death

A sensible meal, a night full of dinner and sex

Some new chandon, a sectional couch, my ex-BFs all checking me out

A cute rom com and a hour of professional help

A bachelor pad, a trip to the coast, a mistress sucking my dick on a boat

A master plan and a hit list of people I loathe

Some vacant space, a week-long cleanse, permission to speak up and squeeze on in

A razor blade and all ten seasons of Friends