Jenny was my childhood friend

We grew up alongside each other, but our friendship came to a natural end

She was smart, tall, kind, she had long hair and porcelain skin

I don’t consciously remember drifting away, but a day came when I never saw her again

We’d walk around

For hours around town through the snow

And down to the riverbanks

I liked her peacoat

Often starting from the lone coffee shop

I missed Pedro the Lion play that place in the 90s or the early 2000s

Jenny always asked me to copy albums for her

And I gave her Paul’s Boutique, Slanted and Enchanted, and Joya

Many years later I saw a super pregnant Dawn McCarthy perform with Will Oldham

It seemed everyone from miles around was there

Back then I assumed she used the music I copied for her to impress other guys

We were both pretty broke back then, that wasn’t a surprise

I always hated Weezer but I never told her. The Sweater Song is the worst

And I don’t listen to those albums like I used to

I think of Jenny every once in a while

But not that often

And I guess that makes me think about how people drift apart

I’m not the same person I was five years ago much less twenty

There was nowhere to sit at my parents house

I was embarrassed by the mess

There was no one quite like her around

She was my friend and not too much later

She had three kids

And no—we were never gonna be like Boz Skaggs’ “We're All Alone”

And I’m glad I never tried

It wasn’t like that and though we grew up near each other’s sides

For longer than not we’ve had separate lives

Many years later I’m still surprised to learn that Beau

Made a lot of records with bands that I loved listening to

While washing dishes or going for long walks in the cold mountain air

Or that I loved listening to during those times I pirated albums for Jenny, cuz I couldn’t say no to her

Last week I watched the Cavaliers / Warriors at JV’s place

With Beau and Maryam and Jason and Merrill

JV cracked us up rewinding this little kid in attendance doing a funny dance

On the screen over and over again

And I almost finished half a beer

I guessed the Warrior’s final score right on the nose

Maryam made me snort when she cracked a good joke

And she and Beau dropped me off and my girlfriend was like, “look at that big smile”

And now Beau’s mixing a few more tracks, and I’m sitting on the couch

Catching up and thinking

About my dreams and my aspirations

And how differently I perceive the world now

Yes, I think of Jenny every once in a while

But not that much

And I guess that makes me think about how people drift apart

I wonder who I’m gonna be in five years much less twenty

I ate waffles at my friends house and we hung out

And he said, “Happy Martin Luther King day.”

And I said “I don't know how to feel

About Martin Luther King day this year,” given all the events…

Later I went walking and looked up the hill

In a break from the flooding rains the sun made the pavement glow

I looked in and out of windows

In my neighborhood at all the people coming and going

Passing the Swedish American Hall

I remembered saying hi to Owen Ashworth after opening for David Bazan, I told him he was one of the best songwriters I’ve heard

My girlfriend likes him

But she hates it when David Bazan does Q&A

I think about how different my life is now than when I was a kid trapped in Alaska, and about life in sunny Oakland

And those silent winter walks through the snow

My friend Erin just texted me “Hey how Are Ya”

It’s been seven years since I’ve seen her and her little guinea pigs in Pennsylvania

And here’s another message, this one’s from Emilio

He said he couldn’t handle the way my ex girlfriend

Was dressing up her kid up with clothing sponsorships and social media posting

And he unfollowed her and I said Emilio, I don’t want to know, and he’s having a blast in Los Angeles

I suppose that’s a lot of diaper changing for an Instagram photo

At least Emilio taught me what SMH means

I like to sit alone at home when it rains

Play guitar, I could be better—I’m okay

At least I'm not flying around thousands of miles every other day

Although my girlfriend said she wants to visit Oslo or maybe Spain

We are surrounded by beautiful moments every day

We are surrounded by compassionate moments every day

My friend John just lost his mom to a heart attack

It made me get right on the phone with my dad

He hasn't left the house in a few days

Because of the cold snap

And at the same time I read in the news about another chemical attack in Syria

They’re saying it’s a nerve gas, the worst attack since the last

Jamie asked me if I'd ever read this Alaskan author, Eowyn something

I said “No, but I bet she made a bunch of tourists happy”

Let me guess she went to Washington State

A brief fact check confirmed Bellingham—I was pretty close

If you hedge all your bets on a bunch of stuff about your childhood you're gonna run out of ideas pretty quick

No angel will cry over your misspent youth or your love life

Write what you know, you know? What else are you going to leave behind?

But if anyone asks me about Alaska and brings up Werner Herzog or Sean Penn or reality television I’m going to stab myself in the fucking face

I’m up here looking down on Dolores

And at the plants growing on my balcony and at a junkie curled up asleep on the street below

He woke up for a few minutes and fed his little fluffy white dog and kissed him on the head

And all the construction contractors working on the building he’s sleeping on the side of are looking out for him

We are surrounded by beautiful moments of compassion every day

And I just gave Danny another call about my new guitar

And discovered we are neighbors

I said “Damn, I just got a synthesizer from the house next door!”