(Verse 1)

I used to read Control-Alt-Delete

Yeah, I know, but I was thirteen or so and yo, I thought it was sweet

And I was awkward and meek, into these comics for geeks

Put in a Star Wars reference and I'm probably piqued

Yo, I read Penny Arcade, isn't it lame

I used to only read the ones about the video games

I wasn't spitting no game, probably don't need to explain

Because I get the feeling some of y’all done did it the same

I used to read Sluggy Freelance as a kid

Riff and Torg and Aylee and Bun-Bun were the shit

That was, what, back in aught-one or aught-two

It was all right, if you wanna read Sluggy you ought to

Furries had Better Days--incest and Ayn Rand

And TwoKinds's fanbase never thought it kinda bland

I ain’t fucks with all that, but Lackadaisy Cats is still my shit

I'll three-finger smack a hater (Slap!!!)

(Chorus)

Support your favorite webcomic, else they ain’t eating

White Ninja, Doctor McNinja stay sneaking

Problem Sleuth, Homestuck, Gunshow--way decent

Plus, innumerable big ups to Kate Beaton

Ayo, when's Tom Siddell gonna put more shit for sale?

Dresden Codak, Octopus Pie, The Chipper Whale

TopatoCo and all of the strips that it entails

Wonderella, Achewood, Digger, and other tales

(Verse 2)

In high school, I was all about the Dinosaur Comics

Because the dinosaurs were dope and the writing was flawless

T-rex was ‘bout it, stomping mad anachronisms

But he'd always get his shit shut down by raptor wisdom

No beef, but though I never messed with any Clark Kent

I'd hop up on Safari for some Questionable Content

I read it for a year before it lost its interest to me

Honestly, I think I started cause I thought there would be boobies

Overcompensating, course Wigu was my boy

I loved the little yellow thingy who was made out of poison

They sold him as a toy son

Crass? It’s debatable

They got a hundred comic shirts for sale up on TopatoCo

Perry Bible Fellowship was doper than most

I remember when it used to update with multiple posts

And I read some underground shit: Thinkin’ Lincoln, mad sick

Wondermark, Gaming Guardians and Reprographics

(Chorus)

(Verse 3)

These days it's Gunnerkrigg Court, because it stays dope

And Prequel, when either updates pages, I’m way stoked

Katja Donlan and Managan be my fave folks

Hope the latter manages to stay up off the rape jokes

Abominable.cc, a strip that really's

An inimitable mixture of heartsick and wistful and silly

The little baby fox motherfucker killed me

I copped the book, support for Charles Christopher, you feel me?

I got heat (no Charlie Heston)

For cats who trace pics and flaunt degrees like Tom Preston

And on the topic of strips I'm not reading:

Fuck misogynist apologist shit like Dom Deegan

And that Tarol Hunt guy is a slimy jerk

I would be saying that even if I liked his work

Ayo The Meek's great, crazy, and at times berserk

And I’m tryna make the time to read Delilah Dirk

(Chorus)