Instrumental: The Center Of Attraction by Ghostface Killah & Apollo Brown

[First Verse]

At my desk reflecting on family death and I don’t know why

As a whole their slow decline just gets me stressed and vexed

It holds my mind in chains and check so I notice time

Just pass me by then park its ride at the farthest side of the car park

Life just gets me on the darkest night can’t sleep feel uneasy

Laying in bed feeling half-alive relay each step of the way I went

When my granddad, sister, and auntie died (auntie died…)

Just so I feel to kick to my gut/ that lump in my throat

And I don’t know how much hope I can muster

I just felt so flat/ go back to the days we had

Those ghosts just go on repeat rotation

Souls move on/ recollections stay

So so sad and it seems so basic

They go/ we mourn/ then we move on ‘til the Lord calls

What’s after life? Losing people you love so much

Pulls out these thoughts like “this can’t be right” (it can’t be right man…)

And it sparks that fire where you question so much

And you get nowhere so I just can’t place all my faith in an afterlife

(Nah, I tried…)

So I recharge then charge at the mic

Attempting to make some sense out of all this

Fall back/ drown all the talking

Yeah it’s all part of the fight

[Hook] x2

Right here right now wanna see you face to face

And tell you why I feel like how I feel and ask you why you had to/ uh!

Can’t even say that word sometimes still doubt it’s true

Then I fall back to Earth and I sit back and I reminisce about you

[Second Verse]

It hits me deep when I realise that I can’t see my granddad

Just struck me now how much of a big impact that man had

I find it weird how I don’t really know that much about Shano

But that name’s ingrained in my past that it still hits hard when I hear it

So much so that it feels like I miss someone

That I don’t really know so well but blood’s too thick to ignore that hole

That appeared so clear when she left us cold/ no warning

One morning woke up with her mum screaming down on the phone

To my dad tryna tell him what’s happened

I’m calling God like “bruv, please, can’t have more of this”

‘Cause more or less what, like two years prior

I was trying to account for my massi leaving

But I don’t regret not seeing her much

‘Cause once I was only gonna stay with her one night

One night turned into one weekend

Which turned into one whole week and I’m pleased that it did

‘Cause the grief otherwise would’ve felt as deep as Shano’s did

(Shano’s did…)

My granddad too (my granddad too…)

Saw him in the hospital bed in a state that I’d never wanna see him in

Like seeing my mum start crying when the hearse pulled up

See the flowers read ‘Dad’ then the hurt crawls up to your heart

Like when I saw both my uncles push that button for the curtain call

It’s done

[Hook] x2

Right here right now wanna see you face to face

And tell you why I feel like how I feel and ask you why you had to/ uh!

Can’t even say that word sometimes still doubt it’s true

Then I fall back to Earth and I sit back and I reminisce about you