[Verse 1]

My car broke down on sixty five

Six years ago my grandma died

And it's all because you were born

My electric bill was high

And my credit card expired

And I can say the fault is truly yours

[Pre-Chorus 1]

I burnt my toast and missed my plane

Because today you showed up late

Why'd you always make it all about you?

[Chorus]

'Cause I'm a professional

At projecting my problems like they're yours

I'll dig my grave and say that it's your bad

And I'll hate you for what?

And write fifteen songs about how you suck

Instead of feeling when I'm feeling sad

[Post-Chorus]

'Cause I'd rather play projector

Than play the girl you don't love back

[Verse 2]

I broke my phone, I lost my keys

I think I have a cavity

And it's 'cause you didn't like my post

My hair won't curl and I got fired

My parents probably can't retire

'Cause you didn't laugh at my own joke

[Pre-Chorus 2]

The stocks are down today, it rained

Because you didn't look my way

Why'd I always make it all about you

[Chorus]

'Cause I'm a professional

At projecting my problems like they're yours

I'll dig my grave and say that it's your bad

And I'll hate you for what?

And write fifteen songs about how you suck

Instead of feeling when I'm feeling sad

[Post-Chorus]

'Cause I'd rather play projector

Than play the girl you don't love—

[Bridge]

I'd rather write a symphony

About all your deficiencies

And how it's you explicitly

Destroying jobs and industries

And making gas a higher price

Your dimples crashed my whole hard drive

I'd rather add to that archive

Than cry 'cause your not into me

[Chorus]

'Cause I'm a professional

At projecting my problems like they're yours

I'll dig my grave and say that it's your bad

And I'll hate you for what?

And write fifteen songs about how you suck

Instead of feeling when I'm feeling sad

[Outro]

'Cause I'd rather play projector

Than have to feel bad

I'd rather play projector

Than play the girl you don't love back