[Verse 1]

I'll tell you a tale of Nelson

And when his lordship died

From a very honest seamen

Who never ever lied

Oh, he called on Captain Hardy

To kiss him 'fore he go

He said five years on this same ship

And now he let's me know

[Verse 2]

I like the girls who say they do

I hate the girls who don't

I hate the girls who say they do

And then they say they won't

But all of the girls I like the best

I may be wrong or right

Are the ones who say they never do

But look as though they might

[Verse 3]

Flesh young lad was smoking

Upon the lower deck

The glamorous young clippy

Did grab him by the neck

She said I'll have to throw you off

Or my duty I {?}

Do you want to get me into trouble

He said yes please, after work

[Verse 4]

I'll tell you of my Granddad

Who is ninety six years old

Who cuddled up to Granny

Because he felt the cold

He asked her, how about it

She said, dear go back to sleep

Don't let your mind make appointments

That your body just can't keep