Confessions - Intellectual

[Intro]

I shut everybody out 'cause I'm scared of rejection

Turns out, when you do that, you just write away your friendships

Scared I'll never make it 'cause the game is so congested

Scared I'll never make it 'cause the throne is too contested

Swear I'm 'boutta relapse, think I need someone to step in

Pills will be the death of me, they my lethal weapon

Pray my death soon, I've been counting down the seconds

Hopin' heaven's nearing me, 'cause yeah, I got some questions, like

Why would God bless me and then he proceed to curse me?

Feels like every person that I fall in love with hurts me

Why doesn't the reaper take me if he's always lurking?

And why does every version of myself feel like the worst me?

Is it all in my head? If I fall to my death

Like, what's the ticket count to my funeral?

Swear I'm always oppressed, never know what's comin' next

Like, why the hell am I always so miserable?

Darkness pullin' me down 'til I'm a carcass

Guess at least then, I'll no longer have a hardship

World's cutthroat, sick of always being guarded

Why does no one want me when I always try my hardest?

Tell me, "It gets better," kind of feelin' like you lyin'

Try to lift the vibe but inside, I'm always dyin'

Devils in disguise always keepin' me distracted

Worst kind of evil hides behind the most attractive

I try to break my habits, but it's hard when you're an addict

Just starin' down my traumas on a track, they call it talent

Every time I cry for help, I get some brand new plaques in

Helpin' all these kids, but who helps me when I'm crashin'?

Just take me down to the other side

Breaking, should I go? I can't decide

Waste me, I got nowhere to run and hide

Hate me, maybe then I'll feel alive

Cycles never ending when you're rackin' up a profit

I thought love would save me from myself but I lost it

Now I'm on my own again, yeah, it's nothin' new to me

The old ways, I'm never goin' back to how it used to be

It feels impossible to try to overcome

When the world is against me, I wish I could be enough

I wish I could be stronger, but instead I go numb

I can't go any longer, I'm done

So these are my confessions

Yeah, these are my confessions