[MICHAEL]

No more

Walking up six flights of stairs

Or throwing down the key

Because there is no buzzer

No more

Walking thirteen blocks

With thirty pounds of laundry

In the fuckin' dead of Winter

No more

Faulty wiring

No more

Painted floors

No more

Spitting out my Ultra Brite

On top of dirty dishes

In the one and only sink

Hello, to my walk in closets

Tidy as Park Avenue

Hello, my butcher block table

I could get used

I could get used

I could get used to you...

No more

Climbing over sleeping people

Before you get out the door

Of your own building

[MICHAEL & JON]

No more

[MICHAEL]

Noxious fumes

From gas heaters that are illegal

[JON]

Or will blow up while you are sleeping

[MICHAEL & JON]

Ohhh!

[MICHAEL]

No more

[JON]

Leaky ceilings

[MICHAEL]

No more

[JON]

Holes in the floor

[MICHAEL & JON]

No more

[JON]

Taking a shower in the kitchen

While your roommate's eating breakfast

[MICHAEL & JON]

And you're getting water on his corn flakes

Hello, to shiny new parquet wood floors

As waxed as a wealthy girl's legs

Hello, dear Mister Dishwasher

[MICHAEL]

I could get used

[JON]

I could get used...I could get used I could get used...I could get used to you To you...

[JON]

No more

Exotic

[MICHAEL]

No more

Neurotic

[MICHAEL & JON]

No more

Anything but pleasantly robotic

[MICHAEL]

We're moving on up

[JON]

We're moving on upTo the East side To the East Side

[MICHAEL & JON]

To a deluxe apartment

In the sky!

[JON (SPOKEN)]

What's that?

[MICHAEL (SPOKEN)]

Oh, come on

Hold on, breathe

[JON (SPOKEN)]

Uhhh!

[MICHAEL (SPOKEN)]

Easy...

[JON (SPOKEN)]

What are you doing?

[MICHAEL (SPOKEN)]

It's him

Ah, hold the phone

[MICHAEL & JON]

Hello, to dear Mister Doorman

Who looks like Captain Kangaroo

Hello dear fellow, and how do you do?

[MICHAEL]

I could get used

[JON]

I could get used...Even seduced Even seduced...

[MICHAEL & JON]

I could get used to you!

Ow!

Oh, yeah!