Boy, I know you're strong

I know you're fine

I know you don't need me

To help you see a sign

I just get scared

Act like a jerk

Obsess about the route that you take home from work

About the streets you pass when you walk home from work

I clear my mind

I down a scotch

Goddammit, nothing's going to hurt you

Not on my watch

'Cuz I'm gonna protect you

From all of the familiar temptations

I'm gonna protect you

From scoundrels and snakes

I'm gonna protect you

From all of the quick medications

I'm gonna protect you

From former mistakes

I'm gonna protect you

I swear

I'm gonna protect you

I'll be there

To protect you from all of the bad things that happen in Florida

In Florida, oh

In Florida

In Florida, oh

Now please don't shout

I know you know what's best

I understand now I've been branded just a hypocritic pest

And you've ever right

To just shut down

But no it's not that I don't trust you it's just I don't trust this town

Hey, I'm gonna protect you

From all of the ranters and ravers

I'm gonna protect you

Your body and mind

I'm gonna protect you

From all of the ten dollar favors

I'm gonna protect you

So you don't go blind

I'm gonna protect you

I swear

I'm gonna protect you

I'll be there

To protect you from all of the bad that happen in Florida

In Florida, oh

In Florida

In Florida, oh

Yeah I really didn't wanna argue today

And if you really listened to the things that I say

You'd hear they come from a good place

I'm older than you, I've been under the bus

I've seen what can happen to people like us

It's enough to make ya sick

Goddamn, scotch goes quick

Guess it got late

Way past two

I know it's silly that I worry, but I do

It's just my way

And honestly

I wish I had someone who said this shit to me

Said "I'm gonna protect you

From all of the scary surprises

I'm gonna direct you

Around all the traps

I'm gonna object to

Each one of your dumb compromises

I'm gonna affect you

By pointing on maps"

And you're gonna never despair

'Cuz I'm gonna always be there

To protect you

To protect you

Boy, to protect you

From all of the bad things that happen in Florida

In Florida, oh

In Florida

In Florida, oh

Only in Florida

In Florida, oh

In Florida

In Florida, oh

In everywhere

In everywhere

In everywhere

In everywhere

In everywhere

In everywhere

In everywhere

In everywhere

On distant shores

Near snowy fields of white

In record stores

In suburbs bathed in white

In rows with doors

In kitchens late at night

In dresser drawers

In Florida