[Intro]

I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed

Get along with the voices inside of my head

You're tryin' to save me, stop holdin' your breath

And you think I'm crazy, yeah, you think I'm crazy

[Verse 1]

I wanted the fame but not the cover of Newsweek

Oh well, guess beggars can't be choosey

Wanted to receive attention for my music

Wanted to be left alone in public, excuse me

Wantin' my cake, and eat it too, wantin' it both ways

Fame made mе a balloon 'cause my ego inflated

Whеn I blew, see, but it was confusing

'Cause all I wanted to do's be the Bruce Lee of loose leaf

Abused ink, used it as a tool when I blew steam

Hit the lottery, ooh-wee

But with what I gave up to get it was bittersweet

It was like winnin' a used mink

Ironic 'cause I think I'm gettin' so huge I need a shrink

I'm beginnin' to lose sleep: one sheep, two sheep

Goin' coo-coo and kooky as Kool Keith

But I'm actually weirder than you think, 'cause I'm—

[Chorus]

I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed

Get along with the voices inside of my head

You're tryin' to save me, stop holdin' your breath

And you think I'm crazy, yeah, you think I'm crazy

Well, that's nothin'

[Post-Chorus]

New-hoo, ooh-hoo, new-hoo, ooh-hoo

New-hoo, ooh-hoo, well, that's nothin'

New-hoo, ooh-hoo, new-hoo, ooh-hoo

New-hoo, ooh-hoo, new-hoo, ooh-ho

[Verse 2]

Now, I ain't much of a poet

But I know somebody once told me to seize the moment

And don't squander it 'cause you never know when it all

Could be over tomorrow, so I keep conjurin'

Sometimes I wonder where these thoughts spawn from

Yeah, ponderin'll do you wonders

No wonder you're losin' your mind, the way it wanders

Yodel-odel-ay-hee-hoo

I think it went wanderin' off down yonder

And stumbled onto Jeff VanVonderen

'Cause I need an interventionist

To intervene between me and this monster

Save me from myself and all this conflict

'Cause the very thing that I love's killin' me and I can't conquer it

My OCD's conkin' me in the head, keep knockin'

Nobody's home, I'm sleepwalkin'

I'm just relayin' what the voice in my head's sayin'

Don't shoot the messenger

[Chorus]

I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed

Get along with the voices inside of my head

You're tryin' to save me, stop holdin' your breath

And you think I'm crazy, yeah, you think I'm crazy

Well, that's nothin'

[Post-Chorus]

New-hoo, ooh-hoo, new-hoo, ooh-hoo

New-hoo, ooh-hoo, well, that's nothin'

New-hoo, ooh-hoo, new-hoo, ooh-hoo

New-hoo, ooh-hoo, new-hoo, ooh-ho