[Verse 1]

I woke up last year and realized I was almost dead

Face to face with my biggest fears, so I just went back to bed

I learned the long way and the hard way, that shit’s not fair

I was living the dream - it turns out that it’s a nightmare

[Chorus]

'Cause I don’t really wanna live like this anymore

But I don’t quite wanna die like I did before

I just want to find a good place and go

Am I allowed to be happy yet?

[Verse 2]

I dropped the ball last year, and this year just the same

Sold my soul and I lost my heart playing their little games

Now there’s an expectation for me to publicize when my brain is under attack

But if it’s gonna kill me then I don’t want to do that -

But I’m too scared to really push back

[Chorus]

'Cause I don’t really wanna live like this anymore

But I don’t quite wanna die like I did before

I just want to find a good place and go

Am I allowed to be happy yet?

(Thanks for coming to my shitshow, umm I think this is the intermission, please don't leave)

[Bridge]

I’m not calling it a dark spot-

How do you perceive the ink blots in your life?

I think it might have been the best time

But I don’t really wanna psychoanalyze

Waking up from the long nights

Glitter stuck in my eyes

Tired and demoralized

Kevin, can you drive?

I don’t think I’ve got the right fight

I’m awkward under these lights

Maybe I should ghost write?

Letting out a deep sigh

Back bench is where I cry

I try to make it normalized

I swear that I am fine

I think I could’ve done better

But I was slowly kind of dying on the inside

But I’m afraid of the headspace I had back then

It sounds dumb in a song, but I miss my friends

I just wanna buy a new van and go

Am I allowed to be happy yet?

The survey says no

No, bitch you sold your soul

(Kevin, can you drive? Tonight, please?)