Brain-storming habit-forming battle-warning weary

Winsome actor spewing spineless chilling lines ---

The critics falling over to tell themselves he's boring

And really not an awful lot of fun

Well who the hell can he be when he's never had V.D.,

And he doesn't even sit on toilet seats?

Court-jesting, never-resting

He must be very cunning

To assume an air of dignity

And bless us all with his oratory prowess

His lame-brained antics and his jumping in the air

And every night his act's the same

And so it must be all a game of chess he's playing

"But you're wrong, Steve: you see, it's only solitaire."