Palms together to steady the storm

Calm in the center

Sending to heaven this letter penned by a sinner

Mentally, I delivered

Living indebted to the forgiver

Due on the crucifix

Pitted against the inner demons

Fiends that exist as insisted by the redeemer

Deem me a villain from the very minute of conception

Now that's affection

Tell me I'm nothing without spiritual correction

You scripted my direction

I spit that energy that you reserve for enemies

The same shits you shaped in the likeness of your imagery

It's hereditary, trace it through my pedigree

You bless us with impediments

So fuck you if you sentence me

Fuck you if you're sentient

Never present to attend us

Like my father in my adolescence

Hold up, take it back a second

You're not the skeleton up in my closet

I'm just contemplating

Wading in torrential thoughts

I'm haunted

I feel the distance wasn't what you wanted

Probably wouldn't have had me

Wasn't ready for it, let's be honest

My hypothesis: your optimism was the cause of this

Building up your palace, trying to fill it with your populace

A king

But really a jester

Because it's all theatrics, never put in the effort

I think you value freedom but succumbed to the pressure

Dropping family to better feed your personal pleasures

That's a lesson learned

A depressing turn

But keeping on that beaten path

Wreaking havoc, sowing bitter seeds and reaping wrath

Reaching from the back

Detach and never lead the pack

We feel the lack

Inadequacy teeming in the aftermath

As a society, we suffer

Fathers fostering violence and keeping love undercover

Smother sons' sensibilities

Silence their insecurities

Nurture their incivility

Turbulent masculinity

Serving first selfish interests

And measuring worth by inches

They're coming up short, diminished

Little pricks, just like syringes

Invasive, they get under the skin

Press the point on penetration

Push to pin and plunge it in

Lucifer loose again

Not to excuse the abusers who sin

Let's crucify those who pretend

That boys don't grow to be men

Yet girls are taught to defend

Their bodily developments

And regulate their temperaments

Like femininity's an effing detriment

Yeah, deep in my sentiments

Channel my tenderness

Compensate for my negligence

Figure of father to daughters

Ill with depression, feeling neglect

Wetting my feet to see if I could step

Like I'm the heaven-sent

Baring my sole on this reflective

Surface made of the thinnest ice

I'm nice to be deflective

Protective and affectionate

I'm selfless out of selfishness

Endeavour to be better than them lecherous degenerates

I'm treacherous

And that's honesty

Popular opinions ain't always common policies

Often we just hate the very things we do subconsciously

That's just human nature to be guilty of hypocrisy

If I'm my fathers' seed, what can my blossom be?

Does my biology dictate the man I oughta be?

Or blame society for fostering the flaws in me?

Theology would posit I'm a product of his sovereignty

I'm just looking for excuses

Can't change the past, anything I try is useless

History repeats, am I destined to be foolish?

It hurt to put you through this, but keeping you's abusive

So will I ever be forgiven?

For taking out you your innocence 'cause I was young and trippin'?

For making this the only script in which you're ever written?

Or am I vindicated for expressing my opinion?

I feel you looking down on me for everything I've done

You know I grew up without, so I could never be your one

Been a menace to the ones I loved, you see the way I'm shunned

Which is why we made the right decision leaving you undone

But I'm sorry

'Cause you deserved a future

But I could never promise you the life that would suit ya

I'm struggling with expectations from past traumas I can't stomach

Can't protect you in this world

So I'm saving you from it