[verse]

You ain't fresh, somebody already broke that ground

You're not ready, I won't back down

I'm Tom Petty; white people love me for no reason

Because their moms did

I'm in the building, you finna be feeling the building burst

But you're the ones that's clearing the room out women and children first

I'm drowning in it. No one found it legit

But when it's going down, we're going down with the ship

Too sweet. Who me? I'm doing my crossword

Rapid spit, tout suite like an Uzi

My dude is a Mossberg, we're humans and monsters

Ice cream. You scream for scoops or some soft serve

I'm not a nerd! I am a nerd, complain to the manager

I'm Jeru the Damager, I'm planet Earth

I'm Caribou from Canada, not Manitoba

I'm an elk! Let me introduce myself

I'm (a) bullet-headed, barrel-chested, hairy, huge, and bare-breasted

Good in bed and yearly tested, very cute, and rarely bested

Hooded sweater-wearing legendary human, fairly pleasant (who)

Should admit to where he'll spread his eerie gloom and iridescence

Look at this and there he isn't!

Never marry business and pleasure, except this very instance

From Sarasota to Arizona, I'm Ferris Bueller

Dropping gems like a careless jeweler

Underground metro like Paris commuters

Where is the computer? GTFO, Americans in Cuba!

From Guantanamera to Guantanamo, the tourist traps

Please, no photographs! Heave, ho, war is wack

We know more than that - we're done playing dumb

We're going dumb like Devo, dumbing out and saying something

I'm a Burner boy, no thanks to testosterone

Came through with No Friends, but I'm not alone

Hot and cold running my mouth off, I'm rock and roll

Even if I've gotten old, commodified and bought and sold

The bottom of my heart and soul is hardened, cold and darkened charcoal

I'm a Gargoyle like Marina Sirtis, part and parcel

I'm Nardwuar versus GWAR, I'm merking artists

My homegirl the weaves pubic wigs, she's a merkin artist

I'm smirkin' hardest like George Bush: assassinate me!

Please rap about how you smoke more kush, it's fascinating

[scratch]

I'm fucking great at rapping

I'm fucking great at rapping

[verse 2]

Hit the deck! Rappers duck at the thought of us

I bit this track from Ruckus Roboticus

Come fuck with us, officers. You suck at your job, plus your job sucks

Who you want it with? HINT: NOT US

Flintlock muskets, Zip-Loc bags

Kids all loved the Kris Kross braids

Pissed-off public, Switched-off Bach concertos

Fat and fearless, bust these hip-hop rapping weirdos

Strap your ear-holes with cotton and stack your Euros

I'm not content until you get off my continent!

I'm not your friend, I'm family - I'm hard to ditch

When all this ends, I should be mentally scarred and rich

[scratch]

I'm fucking great at rapping

I'm fucking great at rapping

[verse 3]

Tarred with pitch and feathered, with a ticket for the Greyhound

"Buck buck buck! Take that with you on the way down"

Down, down in the hole, do your impression of Tom Waits

You're not coming off like the dress on your prom date

You didn't impress her, you took her for granted and, dude

Take it from me, there's no money in the banana stand!

Ampersand. Preview. Turn over a new leaf

I don't believe you like Stephin Merritt or Kool Keith

Even eating carrots you can't see me from your vantage point

You're Pluto... you've been demoted to a planetoid

I thought the Art Of War sucked. I'm a carnivore

You are a poor fucking mistake; you're a brontosaur

To be honest? Sure, you should be on the shore

Gasping, with your gills flapping, trying to evolve some more

If not, who needs an excuse? The fault is yours

Encino Man! Weazin' the juice, you're Pauly Shore

[french lady robot voice]

Welcome back to 2012, you dorks

Merci to Ruckus Roboticus for the use of this magnifique beat

Desole to Tribe One and Adam WarRock, mes amis from No Friends, but if you didn't want me to jack your shit, maybe you shouldn't have become grown up and quit rapping

Backburner!