You shoulda made me a drunkard

Shoulda made me a liar

Made me a preacher

With a head full of fire

You coulda made me a gambler

Coulda made me a thief

Made me a salesman

Pockets full of receipts

But I chose water over wine

Jars of formaldehyde

Think of all the things I missed

Why'd you make me a scientist?

Is this the best you've got?

I'm not impressed

Anything you can do

I'll equate and project

I chose water over wine

Jars of formaldehyde

Think of everything I missed

Why'd you make me a scientist?