Your fallen tears have called to me

So here comes my sweet remedy

I know what every princess needs

For her to live life, happily...

With just a wave of my magic wand

Your troubles will soon be gone

With a flick of the wrist

In just a flash

You'll land a prince with a ton of cash

A high priced dress made by mice, no less

Crystal glass pumps and no more stress

Your worries will vanish

Your soul will cleanse

Confide in your very own furniture friends

We'll help you start a new fashion trend!

I'll make you fancy

I'll make you great

The kind of gal the prince would date

They'll write your name on the bathroom wall

"For a happy ever after, give Fiona a call!"

A sporty new carriage to ride in style

Sexy man, my chauffeur Kyle!

I'll vanish your blemishes

Tooth decay

Cellulite thighs will fade a way

And oh, what the hey!

Have a bichon frisee!

Nip and tuck, here and there

To land the prince with the perfect hair

Lipstick, liners, shadow, blush!

To get that prince with a sexy tush!

Lucky day! A buffet!

Wanna get pissed? Take a roll in the hay!

You can swoon on the moon

With the prince

To this tune!

Don't be drab, you'll be fab!

Your prince will have rock hard abs!

Cheese soufflé!

Have a nice day!

Have some chicken fricassee!

Nip and tuck, here and there

To land the prince with the perfect hair

Lipstick, liners

Fiona:

"Stop! Thank you, very much, Fairy Godmother, but I'm afraid that I don't need all this!"

All:

(Astonished murmuring)

Dresser:

"Fine. Be that way."