[Verse 1: Jean Grae]

“If I could swim a thousand lakes to bring your life back...” I write

That, but infinity can’t rewind facts. You are

Divinity. My primitive mind was struggling

Just to understand the meaning of life, forgive me

I never told my mommy, I couldn’t break her spirit. She always

Wished her daughter extraordinary thinking, so I

Traveled alone, young, sixteen, got in

The habit of not staying at home, doing the

Sad walk like Bill Bixby, a dollar fifty

Trips to the hospital so that Medicaid could fix me

I couldn’t eat shit. I fainted frequent

On cold floors and I pause and I think, “Keep it”

I’m lost. My four friends know and just

Fuck at the boys’ apartments for rent, so I’m all

Wishing that it’s a dream endin' soon. I’ve actually

Erased a lot that I’ve been through

[Hook: Jean Grae]

See, when the rain comes down

I know it’s falling for me

And only for me

And when the pain comes around

There’s nowhere else I rather would be

I know what I’ve done (Please forgive me)

[Verse 2: Jean Grae]

Now all my bitter homies saying, “That’s what men do.” Feeling

Retarded for seeing partner potential. On top

Of that, the doctors telling me a heart murmur. I can’t

Take it, I’m contemplating a Glock burner, a

Cop murderer. I can’t leave. This can’t be

The tears streaming, and I can’t see they lanced me

And I’m passing out, and this is just for blood. They had

To cover the mass amounts. I’ve had enough

And you don’t know what it’s like in waiting rooms, and out-

-side, their picketing pictures could slay you

They’re screaming, “Victims,” and spitting ‘til they shame you

I hold my head low and shiver, push my way through

They put you in a room where you can change into

Your gown and shower cap, shaking as a fiend would do

And that’s when you think of leaving, fleeing the building

And then they call you and you’re hearing the call of your children

They count down from ten now. You wanna stop ‘em, but

You say it in your head: you’re out for the cut

And then you wake up in another room with plenty others

They call it recovery. You’re thinking, “We ain’t mothers”

And then prescription pills, written a ‘script with chills

An understatement. You’re dressed but you’re naked still

And your brain won’t think straight

Wait. Can’t finish this

[Hook: Jean Grae]

See, when the rain comes down

I know it’s falling for me

And only for me

And when the pain comes around

There’s nowhere else I rather would be

I know what I’ve done (Please forgive me)

[Verse 3: Jean Grae]

I kept it bottled up. My parents found the pills

Screaming, “God what have you done?” Cried ‘til I snotted blood

Then got a gun. My temple ran quick though

From the thought, then the worst: I was caught in the same place

A year later. For me, that’s when hatred started

My faith martyred. I’ve dated the father of a father

Then I moved on. Years passed, the guilt’s

Worse and it builds ‘til your heart’s smashed

Then I miscarried. Twenty-two age, I was headed to

A breakdown, swallowed up some pills and I laid down

I was a failure at that too, bailed from

The rap then, but fate took me back in

“Sing” is a tattoo my fingers attached with. Twenty-seven

With three kids that I never met. What if I

Was Catholic? Wonder if they hate me, thinking how

Their mother could ever murder? Well take me, Hell

To the depths where the brimstone chokes me constantly

I am a monster, see. How could I possibly

Correspond with God when I gave the authority

To end their life?

But it’s never over, even if we have a child

They could have had a brother or a sister or both

I’m thinking about another life that almost got close

Praying that, in another time, we could have changed posts

If I could just reverse time, I would

I don’t know what I would do. Honestly, it’s not good

I’m sorry...