[Verse 1]

Lately

You've been feeling

That the bad boy's only making you feel badder

(Excuse my grammar)

But, baby

You’re revealing

That you’re looking for a different type of man, yeah

Other guys are crazy

Screw them, baby

You don’t need that raunchy stuff

Too much fun has made you numb

But I think I can sponge it up

[Chorus 1]

I’m so predictable

I’m crazy boring, baby

I push moderation to the extreme

I stick to ritual

My days are all so samey

And I can give you this monotone-y

I can give you that mundanity

[Verse 2]

I keep things taxonomic

I've got a list of all the lists I need to make

Baby, you need

Things monochromic

So come and live your life in 50 Shades of Grey

(I don’t mean the sexy way)

Look at thе pie chart of my life

You’ll see therе's no variables

Wanna track my range with a quantum gauge?

You’ll see my change is negligible

[Chorus 2]

I'm so predictable

I keep things unsurprising

Fluorescent beige ain’t got nothing on me

Totally typical

I’m so unpolarizing

And I can give you that monotone-y

I can give you that mundanity

(Well, I think that went brilliantly)