[Verse]

25 and things have changed, yeah

I'm a big boy now and I look my age, yeah

But part of me was kind of expecting more

Than one lonely hair poking out of my jaw

[Chorus]

I really thought that I'd have a beard by now

I really thought that I'd have a beard by now

I really thought, really thought yeah

[Verse]

At the GP, Doctor Jensen

Seeing if he can help with hair growth medicine

He takes out a needle and fills it with meds

Stabs it in his leg, starts crying, and says

[Chorus]

I really thought that I'd have a beard by now

I really thought that I'd have a beard by now

I really thought, really thought

[Bridge]

Does it mean I'm not enough

If I don't have pubes growing out of my face?

Does it mean I'm not in love

If my testosterone type is in lower case?

If my mouth warmth levels are in dire straits?

[Spoken]

All the fellas say

I want a place to keep the food I don't eat

All the fellas say

I'd settle for a vaguely convincing mustache

[Chorus]

We really thought that we'd all have beards by now

You implied that we'd all have beards by now

We really thought, really thought

Yeah