Lesson Learned - Intellectual

Had a lot of stress, had a lot of pain

Always second guessing hoping it was gonna change

Couldn't talk to anyone about my situation

Anxiety was choking me in every conversation

Back in September, I was in a awful

Place in my mind I was close to a debacle

Finally the twenty first a Friday had to change me

Nearly in a hearse then a nurse came to wake me

She told me I overdosed I did out of suicide

You don’t understand the depression had me traumatized

I wanted to escape, run from the demons

That grabbed me and choked me whenever I was breathing

Then they had to drive over to a mental hospital

Couldn't speak when all of this occurred I was inaudible

I never had the time to explain the truth

Give the people my perspective and my point of view

4 months later i'm finishing a project

Using the piano keys, giving you the context

Really this is therapy, as i’m learning lessons

Let me take you back to the height of my depression

I was with a so called friend

We would always smoke all the money I would spend

Going through some things at the time didn't know

Why did everybody think of me as a joke?

Back to the night had a bottle in my room

I would down it quick to get rid of the gloom

He wanted to smoke so we went to his car

Anxiety was choking me right from the start

As we lit a spark felt a panic in my mind

I was freaking out going on a decline

Felt a lot of pressure from the fam to be great

Even though my father was the man I'd emulate

I know he's addicted he loves to escape

I did so the same it was such a mistake

Back to the friend he had left and disappeared

So I took a Xanax to remove all my fears

Suddenly the panic and the pressure went to cave

I called everybody cause I needed to be saved

Called everybody didn't know what to say

Stuttering and slurring as coherence went away

First thing I learned how to cope

Gotta talk to someone can't go to the dope no

Secondly I learned I'm an addict

Addicted to attention so bad and it's tragic

Next thing I learned how to love myself

How to not put anything above myself

These are all the lessons that I had to learn

Every second is a blessing and it must be earned

Rollin’ into Kettering I looked like I was dead

But I knew it’s time to make a better me instead

I was so confused and shocked by the events

The night was so intense all I wanted was a bed

So I could go to sleep but they needed my attention

“Was your overdose a suicidal intention?”

Suicide is something I've always rejected

It is not the answer to my clinical depression

Finally they let me go to sleep but

Every 15 minutes they would open the door

Took away all my possessions see

If hell was a place it’s in a psychiatric ward

Sucks that my family saw me at my lowest

I couldn't just beat and defeat this opponent

Changing my ways and i'm switching my focus

A breath everyday since that hell is a bonus