[Vocal sample]
I disobey the law...
I disobey to god...
(*Loops throughout*)
[Verse 1]
My name's Jack, I'm 22 and I suffer from depression
What I'm saying is real, not a way to get attention
I sometimes ask myself why can't I be someone else instead
I feel so low sometimes, don't even wanna get outta bed!
There comes times I wonder if there’s a way out
I don't physically hurt myself, self harm's played out
So I abuse myself mentally, building hurt & stress
As the voice inside tells me that my life is worthless!
Like no one needs to know my hurt, what do they know?
It’s just Jack having another major depressive episode!
John Donne once said that no man is an island
But I isolate myself so I may suffer in silence
It's difficult to stay happy, even on the brightest day
I'm wishing for a tsunami to come and wash this hurt away
But it’s like the studio time gives me moments where I'm buzzing
I swear if I didn't have music, then I would have nothing!
Then-
[Hook]
One day alone I'll die
And I won't make a sound
'Cause I try to stay high
But I feel I'm falling down
[Verse 2]
When my mood drops, I just don't know how to quit it
I wish somebody could hug me, just for a few minutes!
But I don't have anyone, so I have to lie to myself
Knowing too well it can be bad for my mental health
And I fucking hate those moments where my soul feels shot
Making my loved ones think I'm suicidal when I'm not!
And don't even get me started on my family!
Even when they're by my side, it never felt grand to me!
But I guess I can chalk that up to my personal fear
Of lettin' 'em down despite my lyrics versatile & clear!
They tell me do my best, don't worry about failure
But in my mind, every failure I make is rather major!
And I can do nothing from each failure but hate myself
Tear out a page on happiness from life's bookshelf
Put on a sweet attitude like a cupcake, while I'm awake
But I don't know how long it'll be until I finally break
'cause I know that-
[Hook]
[Verse 3]
I know others can relate to the words I say
I know others have been in similar states of dismay
I need to keep going, even if it’s an annoyance!
The last thing I want to be is is a disappointment
‘Cause the only thing I wanna do is make ‘em proud
Playing every song that I make and playin’ ‘em loud
Speaking ‘bout my feelings if I ever needed to
Hoping that as a listener, that this relates to you
I hope that even after such a day stormy and grey
Tomorrow will be a sunny day, that’s here to stay
Fuck the drugs, all I need are these beats
Just to keep my, spirits high and up on my feet
Yeah, but I know it won’t last forever
What if me and these beats can never be together?
Will I fall back into that cycle of depression
Where I fiend for the beats like an obsession?
I hope not