[Skit]

So, are you guys hungry at all?

Um, I could, I could, I could probably eat

I feel like, yeah, wh-what about you?

Hold on (Yeah)

Well, are you opening— (Hold on)

Are you, are you looking at options?

I gotta up— what, like Postmates or like DoorDash?

Well, last time Postmates like came on a bike, and the food was cold

Last time I used Postmates, they like, they like didn't leave it at the door

They left it, like, in front of the garage and also like—

Well, I mean, that's like, that could be a DoorDash, it's like, like

Per-person issue, I don't know if it's like a difference in service

No, but, they like— no, no, no, okay, but DoorDash is like stricter with who they have

I just don't like Postmates, I feel (Me neither, yeah; Yeah)

Door— Postmates just doesn't have, like, a cool aura

Yeah, just do, just open, just do DoorDash (Okay), just do DoorDash

Here, um, what's around? Wh-what time is it?

Double D, hah, sorry, that didn't— (What?; What does that mean?)

I'm sorry, that didn't— (Oh, for DoorDash?)

Yeah, yeah-yeah (That wasn't funny), oh

What is, um, what time is it? Do you know what time it is? (It's like 10:52)

So it's, um, some stuff is gonna be closed in this area

Phew, I mean—

Hey, can you like not hit your vape in my face, please? That like— (Sorry)

What flavor is that, actually?

Did you get the berry banana one? (Nah)

That didn't smell like berry banana, it smelled like— (That's, that's, it's uh, cool mint)

Oh (Okay)

Can we get back on track with the food thing? (Yeah) 'Cause I didn't eat breakfast

I honestly am kinda hurt by how you reacted to my DoorDash joke, and I honestly—

I didn't, what? I didn't say anything, though, I just, I didn't get—

What the fuck are we ordering? (Oh, well, yeah, can we—)

Well, I kinda wanna get this conversation out of the way before we—

There's not, there's no conversation to be had, I'm just saying that it—

I mean, there is because my feelings are hurt and— (But it didn't land)

It wasn't a joke that landed (Alright, alright)

And it didn't land (Alright)

And that's fine, you don't have to be (Nah, i-it, alright, whatever)

Mustafio's Pizza

I don't know, eh, d— we had it like two times this week (Did we?)

Just pizza, no, well, just pizza in general we had

And then you had— 'cause you like all the weird stuff on pizza

What, like mushrooms? (Yeah, it's gross, and olives)

What? I love mushrooms (Yeah, no, they're fine; No-no, but he also puts like, like artichoke hearts, and like)

Do you guys like anchovies? I really like anchovies (I like anchovies; I'm not a— no, no-no-no)

This is why we can't do the— no, because you guys are gonna (You're the odd one out in this scenario)

So what? (You're so—) So, so just fuck me then? So, just fuck what I want?

We don't have to get pizza

Okay, that's what I'm saying (I kinda wanna)

K— then what am I gonna do? You— I'm just gonna have to do my own thing

You guys get to do a group order and I do my— (Oh, I thought you were still talking about the— whatever)

Okay, okay, okay (What are you—? Okay)

Cheesecake Factory (That's absurdly expensive)

Hold on, let me look

You aren't even buying the food, dude

I'm chipping in, I thought we were all chipping in, I thought this was a group pay

Yeah, I-I'll pay for like one fifth (Oh-oh, I thought he was getting all of it)

Oh, you're— are you, are you getting the food?

Fuck no, Cheesecake Factory's fucking crazy expensive

That's what I said, it was expensive, so we shouldn't do that

Okay, well, p— (They have good stuff, but it's—)

Pasta, Pasta DaVinci is twenty-nine fift— that's crazy, right? (Yeah, no, we don't need that)

Hell no, it's fine (Yeah, nah)

Well, what do you— do you, uh

I'm not opposed to, like, just Mexican food in general as an idea

And it could be even something like Taco Bell, it doesn't have to be, like, real (Like Tex-Mex?)

Yeah, yeah, I'm fine with Tex-Mex

I'm, I'm not really feeling Tex-Mex right now, I feel like, I feel like I could, uh, (How do you pronounce this restaurant?)

I'm not s— (It's) I'm not gonna try to (No, I'll do it, I'll do it)

It's uh, El Tes— El— sorry (You won't get that), okay, yeah, no, it's fine

I could've done that, by the way (How about that one?)

Um, El, El Capiton, um, Tac— ([?]), okay

Well, I could've, you know

These are things that I can do, and I feel like you're just not giving me the chance

To see my full potential, with like the, th— (What's that one?)

That one is El Rancho Grande Mexican, that one was easy, so we could do that one

That's not even what it said (That is what it says)

I thought it was like El Rancho (No, no, let me read it again)

It is— no, you— well, I-it could be El Rancho, that's a possibility

Are we, are we? (I'm so hungry, man)

Okay, okay, do we want Mexican? (Square one) Do we want— (I just wanna get food)

Okay, what genre of food are we thinking?

What genre of food? Like (What type, what type; What type of cuisine, like, what kind of cuisine)

American, like burgers and shit? Or like

Honestly, Tex-Me— no, no, not Tex-Mex (No Tex-Mex, so that's off the table)

Hold on, um, my boy is calling me real quick, it's like, can I take this? (Your boy is calling you, dude?)

But we have like a thing that we're doing right now

Well, yeah, but I-I said I'd call him like an hour ago, like he didn't

Can it be quick? Can you make it quick?

I'll try to make it quick (Make it quick), okay (I'm hungry as fuck)

Yo (So yeah, what, um), hold on (I don't know, hold on?)

Do you mean like— d-don't listen to him, he's on— (Okay)

He's on the phone, so that's a separate thing (Oh, okay, okay)

So we could, uh, so you said Tex-Mex is out, it's out? (Yeah, nah)

Okay (I'm not, I'm not really)

And then pizza, we have too many disagreeances on

With, with, just, or disagreements with like, the toppings

Are you serious? That's fuckin' crazy (I mean, no, I-I don't like, I'm not, uh)

I don't want half the stuff that you guys want, and so, and then if he's gonna pay for it (Yeah)

Hold on, yo, can you guys, can you guys stop for a second?

Where have— where you— what?

We're trying to get food over here

Can you step over there if you wanna— (Yeah, that's fine, yeah, yeah, yeah)

'Kay, just don't like, don't raise the volume of your voice when you go over there

Just keep it at the same (Um, why would I? He can hear me the same)

You're louder already, you— (You are, you do get louder)

'Cause, 'cause I stood farther away to talk to you guys

Whatever dude, whatever, just do— do your fucking call, dude (Just stay over there)

Yeah, do that, do that, do that (You don't have to be so fuckin' rude)

Do that, do that, just do that, just go do that (I'm sorry, I'm sorry)

I get hungry, I get grumpy, alright? (Okay) Alright

I haven't had Italian in like— in like a minute

Yeah, I—

Last time I had Italian, I (Yeah, I can't, I can't do that right now)

Hey, dude, you're still being really fucking loud

(I'm speaking in this normal volume like I normally do) You're not, though, you're not speaking in a normal volume

Is there, is there like a problem that you have to resolve on the phone? Is that why this is happening? (Okay, alright, I'll call you later)

Who's calling? Who was that?

E— Stephonathan, it doesn't matter

Who the fuck is Stephonathan? (It's, I hate that guy)

Don't ask because then he's gonna tell you about him and I don't wanna hear the same story again

It's the same shit (Oh, shit, that)

That's not a real name, that's a— (Yo, that's a brewery [?])

I don't wanna hear this story about him again, you always tell this story to everybody that will listen (Dude)

That's a made up person (That's, you're encouraging), is this an inside j— am I— (No, you're encouraging)

It's a person

We get it, no, that's great, can we move on? So

Okay, okay, um, we were in the middle of talking about Italian, but you were saying something

Ugh, okay, Mustafio's Pizza is just, just close

Hello friends, look at this Reel, look at this Reel, look at the— haha (Um)

Haha, haha, look at the Reel, haha, haha (Sorry, there was)

Metro Boomin' make it boom (I'm sorry)

Stop showing me fuckin' Instagram Reels, dude (I'm sorry, I'm sorry)

Yeah, no, it— it, uh, later, later maybe for Reels, um

That was funny, though (Thank you, thank you, haha)

That was a good one, that was a really good one (Thank you, thank you)

Papa John's

Where we already did the pizza conversation and you were here for that, you weren't even on the phone

So, I don't underst— are you good right now? Are you sick right now, are you still sick?

Choked up by my spit (You said you were fine), I choked— (You said you were over the sickness and that you could hang out tonight)

Dude, can you get off my back? it feels like you've kind of been on my fucking dick this entire t—

Super Duper Burgers, that's a real place, that's actually a real place (Yeah, yeah, Super Duper fuckin', whatever, bro)

I know that's a real place

Well, I don't wanna eat anything if I'm gonna be in the room with a sick person that's gonna let me breathe in all the— (I'm not go— I'm not fucking sick)

See, hey, he just coughed, he just coughed (Oh my fucking God)

He wasn't coughing before, and then you coughed in the last— that's not true (It's because he's been hitting his fucking vape in my face for the last five fucking minutes)

You, you coughed and then he coughed (You're so fucking insufferable)

If I get sick because of this, I'm gonna be fucking pissed, I have shit to do

Like, he's gonna fuckin' die or (Yeah, what do you have to do?)

I have a lot of stuff to do and I don't— (Like what? Like what?)

I don't need to disclose, I don't need to disclose any of that to you

I don't need to disclose, no I don't (Oh, you don't need to disclose anything? Why do I even hang out with you?)

No, I'm asking you the same question, why would you come here to hang out with me?

My phone died

Your phone fucking died?

Yeah, phone just died, it's what happens

Why didn't you char— you dead, okay, maybe if you didn't take the fucking phone call over there (Hello, hey-hey guys, stop fighting, look at this)

(Ha, haha, haha, oh; I wanna see that clip) Stop showing us Reels

Who's the fourth guy? Get him out

What are we gonna do? What are we doing with this?

I'm gonna go to bed

You're gonna go to bed? (You're gonna go to bed)

Yeah, I'm gon'— I'm gonna go to bed

You're gonna go to bed? (Well, I don't, I just, you guys are just being dicks, I just wanna go to bed)

So you? (Oh, oh, we're being dicks)

Oh, we're being dicks when you're trying to do (You forgot to charge your fucking phone, really?)

You said my friend isn't real, and I'm tired of this

I never said that, I just wanna eat (What, what the fuck was his name?)

Stephonathan, Stephonathan (Stephonathan)

Whatever you wanna eat, I'm gon'— I'm gonna walk somewhere (Stephonathan)

You go somewhere (Stephonathan, he's a better friend than you)

Fuck off, he's not fucking real (Oh, that's great, that's great)

Fuck you, go fuck yourself (Go fuck yourself, yeah, whatever)

Fuck you, you fuckin' piece of shit, Jesus Christ

I can't, I just, we gotta stop inviting him (Yeah)

So do we, um

Do we do our own thing with the food now, or?

It could be easier, theoretically (Um, we can, let me see if my phone—)

Yeah, 'cause yours (I don't even have my phone on me)

Okay, well, here, I have my phone, hold on

I'll open it, I haven't opened DoorDash in a minute so sometimes it does like a stutter thing where it takes a minute to

(I forgot my bag) Oh, look who came crawlin' fucking back (Well, well, well)

Look at you, asshole (Here you are; I forgot my bag)

Yeah, you forgot your bag, yeah, of course (Yeah)

No, I think what happened is you went out there and you realized you make yourself look like an idiot 'cause you overreacted to nothing

That's what happened and now you're back (Yeah)

Now, you're about to say, "Oh, I might as well stay for a little bit longer if you guys are still doing the food thing

I've cooled down a little bit," you're gonna use that excuse, the same one you use all the time

Alright, man, ease up on it a little bit, alright, because you're being a little

You're being a little (Okay, I'm sorry)

Can we just get like Taco Bell and just like not even think fuckin' about it?

Yeah, fuck it (Sure, whatever, yeah)

Fuck it, Taco Bell, Taco Bell it is

Do you wanna share something from Taco Bell?

I don't even wanna discuss that, let's just get Taco Bell (Okay, um), thank you

Who wants to pay? (Fuck)

I mean, he, like, originally wasn't gonna come, so like, I feel like I got you already, that was established before, like, he came over

Yeah, but now, but-but he, (Yeah) but you

So are you gonna pay for yourself? We could, do we spli— does it split the— can you do a three-way card split on a DoorDash order? Is that somethin—

I hate this, I'm just gonna get it for all of us

Okay (Okay, that's fine), that works for me, I'm not gonna argue with that (Okay, okay; Yeah, yeah)

That, that daps up (Yeah, you should probably be in a very good mood)

That was— that was better, okay

See, see how loud that was? (See how we got it on the first try?)

That's 'cause you weren't originally invited (But you, that's because you left and came in, yeah 'cause this was gonna be an us thing)

See all the chemistry we do have (And you didn't have that)

And then you come in and make us uncomfortable

I just wanna eat something, I just wanna eat something

That's what we all wanna do, and that's why we've been trying to figure that out the entire time and

You know, not to rehash anything, but you are the one that took a phone call (I'm so fucking hungry, dude)

I'm hungry too, who's— so you're ordering?

I'm not fuckin' ordering, I— (You just said you would)

My phone isn't in the fucking room (So what are you gonna do, Apple Pay me?)

Apple Pay you? You offered to get it (Ugh, no, you just said you were gonna get it)

Oh my God man, oh my God, oh my God dude (You just told me you got us, you said, "I got you guys")

I'm calling Gazpaccio right now (You said it, that's not)

Hahaha, who the fuck is Gazpaccio?

That's my friend

That's not your friend, he's not real (He's real)

Who?

Do you— are you taking the meds? (What?)

Oh my fucking God, again (I'm hungry), holy shit

Well, you can't, you shouldn't be eating anything right now

I'm supposed to eat Tac— Taco Bell with my meds

Who's, you can't convince me that a doctor told you that

Yeah, he said double layer chee— (Who, who? What's his name? What's the doctor's name? Say it)

Doctor Spunbuddy (Oh my God)

Hahahaha

Skit's over, skit's over