If you don’t know by now

What’s the matter again?

There was a loss, it didn’t connect

I guess then you’ll never know

Light broke through the window

It never leaves you now

Just tracing circles

And I could get up soon

But then I’ll still have to face it

There was an atrophe

The arms that we used to pull us free

Stay, I’ll be down right away

Thought about all you’ll never know

It’s been so long

Thought about how much still hasn’t changed

Romanticized the orange sky

But I’ve seen a sunrise a dozen times

If you don’t want to try, it’s alright

Then when everything came back to us

There was no end to our recolection

Awkward placement in our

Far-more-awkward scenes

Took a job in your misery

Cause you knew that’s where she would be

(Look at you, she’ll be ready soon)

She left, and so you wanted to leave

And you messaged her coming clean

And then she said that she’d rather be with

(Then she flew to)

The best friend of her brother

Who said he loved her

Say, do you feel so grown the way you are

Do you ever fear you’ll never feel that way again?

I guess that’s what it’s supposed to be like

Things that kept us up at night

All that anchored us can never have that weight again

So it came and went

Rope we’re tethered to, bound by its fraying end

Then you looked at me

So credibly you said

You’re looking through a lense

Back then you couldn’t wait for this all to end

Though there’s nothing we can learn

Giving nothing in return

A pain we earn so why repeat it?

(don’t rely on your eyes to inform you

When you know how easily they misinterpret the light

So focus on what we’ve measured repeatedly)

(dreamed again the other day

A fleeting thought, uneven shape

Thought you might see her there

An eager pace, an empty chair

So why repeat it?)

(said you came intent to say

Content to always stay the same

The friends you made and pushed away

The price you paid so why repeat it?)

Final descent, sheets for a different bed

Everything we said still ended in an argument

Then the ill would end

And then again

The cracks that would form

We’d fill, we’d mend, we’d fix

But there was permanence in our reluctance

What if we just watch them leak

As we lie in wait until the rain came

Some day

We’ll watch above as the ceiling bows and breaks free

Day dreams we’ll be repeating

If you don’t know by now

You’ll never know