Here I am back where I started again

All my hope revolved around you

I can't stand the person I am

So much despair in my life

I can not stand this state of mind

All my thoughts bring another hole

Of which I can never escape

But I have to get this off my chest

There's so many things I wish I could say

So many things I've said before

When we met I wasn't in the right state of mind

But I took the ultimate chance

Put all the other bullshit aside

I was broken, not sure which road to take

But I put myself first, for the first time

I wish you could have done the same

The looks that were on your face

Told me everything I needed to know

But even after everything that's happened

I wouldn't change a fucking thing

I could see it in your eyes

You needed the answers eating you alive

Following me in my own misery

I could sense that this was the end

I could hear it in the tone of your voice

I could sense that this was the end

It brought back a familiar feeling

Feels like I'm in a crowded room

But nobody can hear my screams

I've lost control of myself

And the anxiety is taking over me

The anxiety is taking over me

I hope you can remember

Exactly what I told you on that day

That I'll always be here if you need me

Hold on to that fucking memory

Because this is something I hold on to

I can't help that I still care

I still feel like I fucking failed you

And it's absolutely killing me

The saddest part is that I know that you can not hear me

But I lie awake every night

Hoping and praying that you are alright

I've been living in affliction with hopes of reconciliation

I can promise that I won't give up on what you started

But now's my time to achieve what the fuck I've been longing for

Happiness is within reach there's no chance that i'm gonna miss it

I wish I could repay you for showing all these burden are not the end of life