[Verse 1: Matt Mehana, All]

Look, he drank straight from the faucet

Holy shit, he's fucking lost it

We only enjoy fine sparkling water

Fed something adhesive to your daughter!

Look, he drank straight from the faucet

Holy shit, he's fucking lost it

We only enjoy fine sparkling water

Fed something adhesive to your daughter!

Call me old-fashioned, but I think trains kick ass! (Yeah)

I don't need hot wheels to get to class!

What the hell is wrong with him?

His hair's so long, it needs a trim

I heard he packs a lot in those bloomers

It's probably true like all the other rumors!

[Chorus: Matt Mehana]

You think you're modern

But that taste won't last (It just won't last)

And everything you own

Will be (Will be) the fucking past (The fucking past)

[Verse 2: Matt Mehana]

Cynicism save me, turn me around and march me

Back up the sidewalk to my door

Take me back inside and throw my trench-coat

On the floor (Lead me back into my bedroom)

And make me put my clothes back on

[Interlude: Matt Mehana]

Grab the Mag-Lite, get the grappling hook

Let's find the bottom of this cave and close the book

[Verse 3: Matt Mehana, All]

The salt on my lips is an enzyme

That metabolizes reality

To fuel these dirty delusions

You're leading me to these conclusions

The organs exploding

In my torso

Like a series of city blocks

Giving in to a nuclear blast

[Bridge: Matt Mehana]

And now my pressure relief valve is activated

Maybe I should stop holding my breath

I'll prove it, come sit next to me

Tell me what you do at work, you half-hearted intimacy

We'll be like gay actors, over and out

Having the kind of sex sacrificial virgins fantasize about

[Pre-Breakdown: Matt Mehana]

But if I knew your name

[Breakdown: Matt Mehana, All]

It would have to be for charity

Just try me! Test me! Release me!

Cynicism reassure me that

If we only had less clothing and better light

It would all just be an embarrassing

Misunderstanding

The sudden silences aren't the crash

Where lips should be

[Outro: Matt Mehana]

If this were a contract, I wouldn't sign