[Intro: Deo de Madman, Luca Bergonzi]

So Luca, it's been great to have you, thanks so much for coming in. Thanks to you. Final question: what is your secret to a real good pomodoro sauce?

Oh well, that's a really good question, see. So I like to cook the onions at the beginning, then you've got to- you've got to put in a lot of seasoning, so like salt, pepper, bit of sugar to caramelise the onions. And then I like to add some mixed herbs, especially the ones you get from Sainsbury's, you know, already in the pot. And then, family secret, a nice big pot of Dolmio

[Verse 1: Deo de Madman]

Introducing Human Error recipes and dishes

You chose the tortellini with ricotta cheese and spinach

Boil these bad boys for two to three minutes

Any time longer, and your pasta will taste English

Some butter and some sage will keep them finger lickin'

But don't you dare serve these fuckers up with chicken

Some passata's fine, if you like the taste clean

But if you want the ketchup, better stick to your baked beans

Or these tortellini will have seen better days

Don't serve them as a dish faker than spaghetti bolognaise

Take it from Deo and NGMA, pasta senseis

Don't eat a pasta dish unless it's cooked al dente

[Chorus 1: Deo de Madman & NGMA, Luca Bergonzi]

Yo, Human Error's in the kitchen (So basically, to check if you're pasta's ready)

Yo, Deo de Madman's in the kitchen

Yo, it's NGMA in the kitchen (you've got to to throw it on the wall, and if it sticks it's job done)

Yo, what you cooking bro?

[Verse 2: NGMA]

Back to the pan again, with plenty of linguine

I’m slapping up a sauce made from gambas and zucchine

I’m in between adding pepper or some parsley

Topped with a dash of cream, but make sure to add it sparsely

Stop cooking that carbonara you’re making ‘em scream

Italians don’t eat that shit with mushroom, bacon and cream

So please, what do you mean? I don’t need baked-a-beans

You ain’t faking this pasta with grated cheddar and greens - nah

How to prevent pomodoro stains antics

Is to guillotine spaghetti into lots of little matchsticks

Add a dash of seasoning to flavour the whole

Once you’ve savoured the meatballs you’ll start scraping the bowl

Now for a shout out to all you tuna pasta bake lovers

Putting dairy on fish is a rookie mistake, brothers

Explain why in America this happens, please

'Cause I’m intrigued by the appearance of your mac and cheese

[Chorus 2: Deo de Madman & NGMA, Luca Bergonzi]

It's Human Error in the kitchen (Now all these recipes are sounding very tasty, I think I'm going to try a lot of them at home actually, it's the first time I've ever heard of them)

Deo de Madman's in the kitchen

We've got NGMA in the kitchen

'Cause everybody's in the kitchen

You've got my parents in the kitchen

All the Italians in the kitchen

There's no British in the kitchen

(Oi wait guys, Luca's still in the kitchen, oh listen up, oi see)

[Verse 3: Luca Bergonzi, Deo de Madman & NGMA]

See I spend my time cutting hairs for a living

But today I'm here with Human Error in the kitchen

We've been trying something new for every course

Each one can be had with my old nonna's sauce

Bless her soul, she was a master of the condiment

Béchamel to mortadella, always got the compliments

Anyway, any day with us is a feast

So you're warmly invited to come over next Easter

We've got paste cresciute, casatiello, we like make pastiera, mamma makes a great one of those, we've got the tasty colomba, fried calzones, salami, salsiccie, whatever you want guys...

(Luca, Luca we're out- the studio time's finished mate, we can pick this up next week man, come on...)