Scary - Intellectual

[Verse 1: Howell]

Hey, what are you doing walking by

My house at midnight on a sidewalk lit by some dim streetlights?

Are you deaf, dumb and blind?

Don't you know all the dangers we’re surrounded by?

Strangers with clouded eyes, deranged neighbors and scoundrels

High on whatever has them out of their minds

It's on the news all the time

Did you watch the news last night?

Did you see the thing on the news with the folks doing those crimes?

I'm gonna guess you’re not watching the news enough

Or maybe thе planet you just landed herе from is less rough

See, there's threats everywhere you gotta look out for

And it's not just monsters and Russia anymore

I mean women, minorities, foreigners, teens

Any group I can lump together collectively

They all have this agenda against you and me

Even though we're just trying to live peacefully

So I wear gloves on my hands for better punches

Traps 'round my house in case they come in bunches

Weapons scattered 'round strategically

In a pattern nobody can discern but me

I work out all day, news turned up all the way

To prepare myself mentally for judgement day

And you're lucky I realized you were one of us

'Cause I almost attacked you with these spiked nunchucks

[Chorus: Howell]

See, everything is scary, except for me

Everything is scary, except for me

We live in a word that is very scary

[Verse 2]

Let’s say you’re out walking in the woods by yourself

With no phone in your pocket to call for help

And let's say it’s quiet but for trees slowly swaying

And let's say there's some ominous movie score playing

Did I mention it's dark? Did I mention your heart

Is pounding so loud that you can’t hear the sound

Of a beast approaching, wild and hungry

Oh, and let's say you're tied up so you can't run away

Your best shot is making it scared of you

So why not mention that you're human and what humans do

Like explain the purpose of an atomic bomb

Or read him the lyrics of that Soul Sister song

Tell it we bred wolves into neutered little dogs

That wear collars that shock them if they escape our lawns

And get paraded around town naked on a leash

While we brag that they love us unconditionally

So hey play your cards right, we won't cause your extinction

You could eat off the floor of my descendants' kitchens

Sounds psycho I know, but there's no other way

Earth's nonhuman creatures make it pretty unsafe

[Chorus: Howell]

Everything is scary, except for me

We live in a word that is very scary

[Bridge: Howell and Ultra]

Everything is so scary (No one's scared of you except for you)

You gotta keep your eyes open (No one's scared of me except for me)

You gotta keep your knives sharpened (No one's scared of you except for you)

You gotta be vigilant

And why not dig a pit with sharpened sticks

And cover it with foliage

[Verse 3: MC Ultra]

The universe is scary kids, about to get scarier

At this age I am aware I probably should be hairier

Life roller coaster host, scary phone voice

Pick tone to boast, heavy armor layer coats

Pad clad lads, gentlemen rap, raise a ruckus

Forget spiked nunchuck-us, I'm talkin hair-brained hocus pocus

Hide your hide by wearing stuff on the outside

And hold your noses

Choking on air, cologne ghosts everywhere

Smellin' people that used to be there, perfume poltergeists

The news is on all the time

Watch it if you choose to worry

I say a walk and you scurry

Disconnect the blue connector hurry

A starter kit will kill

Toot in common wind, and think it's skillet temp skill

Rip a skeeter killer, spark wand thriller

All Howells' Eve, happy Howell-ween

Everything, everything is so scary except for me

[Chorus: Both]

Everything is scary, except for me

[Verse 4: Howell]

To be honest, it's exhausting living like this

Trying to stay prepared and alert and fit

Weapons polished, sharp and clean

Today's outgoing warning on my voicemail machine

Warpaint applied, vitals protected

All of my favorite news channels selected

Stockpiling gas and gunpowder and flares

And feeding the mailmen trapped under my stairs

Just leave me alone in my fortified home

The one place on Earth that's an HD safe zone

Quit clogging my radio with subversive thoughts

And provoking me through all the news that I watch

Why can't it be more like when I was kid

When one hour of news was all we needed?

But now it's on all the time, so open your eyes

And listen to Howell Dawdy and Ultra Pulverize

[Chorus: Howell]

Say everything is scary, except for me

Everything is scary, except for me

We live in a word that is very scary

[Outro]

Everything is so scary