[Verse 1]

Tick tock, the pendulum swings

I got a ziploc with bud filled up to the brim stuffed

Get lit, fucked then pen it all into hip hop

Spit and barf sick as fuck just to lift the bar I hit just

To mental unhinge

This heart picks up on its rush, and its cogs

Ticking triggering us to pencil some shit

Turning and twisting the words as if by clockwork it clicks

Hours pass in the hourglass, let out a solemn gasp

I rest knowing that my entire life is caving in

The sand already sank to the bottom and back again

Have no time left and done reversed my circadian rhythm

Live at night, no light, like a bat In a cavern

Living underground writing subterranean lyrics

Suffer mental collapsе but every night I lie awakе in bed

I write the sickest getting better Imagination triggers

The bells ring, began to sing

Get up, get back in the cyclical swing of things

Made it out of hell but realized nobody gives a shit

Turned inwards, split and now i'm on some limbo shit

Purgatory built before me, a prison inside my skin

I live for nothing but doing my own thing

Spitting these rhymes, thats it miserable lonely existence

I loathe this demon who's broken me but at least I know him

I'm so cold, sub zero, alone throwing stones in a glass home

I'm a broken cogwork It can't be repaired its past its date of expiration my psyche like the antikythera mechanism

Hope it dont implode I can't really clear the pessimism

Come for your throat, cause if I dont, i'll go for my own

More than just a few screws loose in my frontal lobes

First a chokehold then choke held by rope I'm nuts and bolts

Thunderstruck with a hundred volts to the confidence

[Bridge]

I want, I want, I wonder

I want, I want, I wonder

I want, I want, I wonder

I want, I want, subconscious

[Verse 2]

I want to change and be a better version of me

I want to recreate friendships and treat em respectfully

I want to become someone who I'm proud to be

But roll another joint, I lack the will and motherfucking energy

And I want to wake up feeling energized

I'm fucking drained but barely fall asleep at night

I toss and turn, god knows I might've tried, and cried

But I lack the will to get out the bed in time

I want to train and exercise

Take care of where I stand in life

Take a hike, fix shit, get drive and maybe grow revived

Yet I lack the will to even stay alive

I want to have a productive day

I know, where there is a will there is a way

But not today, I say, as I grimly turn around again

And I lack the will to try today, sleep feels like a death I can attain

And I want to get green, treat my body right

Remove what fire burns in my sarcophagi

But god, these drugs turn my blood to ice

And I lack the will to give up, so I get hella high

I want to find love, but I'm just stuck on the side of

My mind lost, missing my ex so much it's like I might' huv

Already lost the one and thus I can't recurve my luck

God damn it, I lack the will to give up memories

And I want to rap, attack tracks like the damn black death

Infect records, but instead I get more dreaded and sad

Attempt to do my best and remember that's that

But I can't, and I lack the will to step up my game or step back

I want to be alive but only if it really feels like life

Not only a slight reflection of what it used to be like

I want to rise like a phoenix, wield fire and be like it

But I lack the will to even get a lighter for my cig

I want to feel at peace, but my life is a war

Always been fighting myself and then hiding the scars

I want to apologize for all I did wrong

And for all I did right but never right enough

I want to die, constantly overcontemplating

Suicidal thoughts and trouble concentrating

Might attempt to reach valhalla blast my head apart

I lack the will to keep on trying to light a world so dark

When I die I'll never enter the kingdom of god

And I'm beginning to get anxious

My mental illness kicks in

Argue with myself silently fidgeting

I see things as if tripping on dimethyltryptamine

Spirits, delusions, demons I can see everything

Low and behold these

These cold flows of an old soul

Frozen bones, broken ghost and odours of pot smoke

Mental state of energy peaks

Fucking thunderbolts

Streams through the brain, powers the prefrontal lobe

From main to escape wheel

From neurons to blood

My muscles the spring winding up my thoughts

My mind is a clock, Help me rise up

Notice when its dawn, day, night, dusk

Liquid time in perpetual motion stops