Track 7 of Animus Session: The Dead of Winter

Note: The music is the landscape of my mind. It's not always structured: our thoughts rarely are, especially considering how unstable I was

Lyrics

Verse 1

I woke up that morning with a stuffy nose, red puffy eyes

Dusky skies, looked out my window and I swore it must be five!

Jumped right out of bed, God, please let it be a snow day

Don’t take me to that pla-cé where my talent is a throwaway

I rap so good, serve soulfood

So Petals just gotta go global

It gets that shine, I’ll get signed

And tour the world as a rap mogul

Bout my parents, I’m sure they’d have to come around

When they see their first born son out there making a whole nation proud

Yeah, these are my dreams that some might call naïve

But what makes them unreal keeps my boots in concrete

GROUNDED paradoxically, it all tends to balance out

Like the sun with the moon with the stars, you pull the cameras out!

FLASH and FLASH, I’m attracted to the bright lights

The highlife as I rush to my bus, it’s all that keeps my eyes wide

Like a moth attracted to flame, I’m intrigued by the chance of fame

Just hoping I don’t get burned as I strive to make my own name

Interlude:

And yes indeed, you will be...
POPULAR! You are going to be popular!
I’ll teach you the proper poise,
When you talk to boys, 
Little ways to flirt & flounce, ooh!

I’ll show you what-

Twas upon a time there was a boy who died,
Lived happily ever after...

But that's another chapter,
Live from

Home of the brave with dirty dollars,
Beauty parlors, baby bottles and bowling ball Impalas,
And street scholars majoring in culinary arts,
You know how to work bread, cheese & dough,
From scratch, but see the catch is you can get caught,
Know what ya sellin' what ya bought so cut that big talk,
Let's walk to the bridge now meet me halfway
Now you may see some children dead off in the pathway
it's them poor babies walkin' slowly to the candy lady
It's lookin' bad need some…

It’s like going to heaven and finding GOD SMOKING CRACK!

REVOLUTION! REVOLUTION!

Three thefts…hidden by the Murders…

People only see what they’re trained to see

What the Organization wants them to see…

NOONE CARES FOR YOU A SMIDGE

WHEN YOU’RE IN AN ORPHANAGE

IT’S A HARD KNOCK LIFE!

It is around us! Signs and paintings…

Faces. Documents. But…

But we don’t see it. See…

We are…hehe…we are blind to our own creation

YOU’RE GONNA CLEAN THIS DUMP!

TILL IT SHINES LIKE THE TOP OF THE CHRYSLER BUILDING!

Listen! Why do we have these Gifts?! These Abilities?!

BECAUSE! IT’S IN. OUR BLOOD!!!!

YANK THE WHISKERS FROM HER CHIN!

JAB HER WITH A SAFETY PIN!

MAKE HER DRINK A MICKEY FINN!

REVOLUTION!

REVOLUTION!!!

Verse 2

I came home that day… Pissed on, in no mood to play!

With a headache, I’d faced my first day of ever being detained!

I’d mistakenly skipped a class, I just cannot seem to pass!

And I don’t mean to be crass, but Fuck AP Calc and Stats!

I hate my life: different days but it’s the same ol’ path!

With bullshit grades, would you believe I was a whiz at math?

It all falls apart, nothing is going as it should!

Petals won’t even go wood, My mother looks at me like a fool!

Just like that brat who spat on his mom

Caused her so much pain now today she’s gone

I think he’s my Uncle, Yep he’s the one

Who blazed the lane that I unwillingly run!

And knowing all of this, How could I ever break the news?

That even with As in everything else, I still might not graduate school?

It’d break Ma’s heart

That’s a fact. I can’t afford to play that part

So in rhyme, I drown my cries, Makes it much easier to dodge and dart

The pricks of my conscience, As I strive to make some sense

Of this mess, this nonsense, while still smiling in front of friends

Gosh, I really need to unwind

Maybe record some lines, that always makes me feel alright…

But no dice, ROLL FAIL, mom rained on my parade

A one-sided debate, and I walk away delayed

One song less, back to stress-

GOD I COULD REALLY USE YOUR HELP!

As I sob quietly to myself, on the day of my birth!

It’s been 17 years yet what have I really learned?!

Finally I can say what I’ve meant to all verse:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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I don’t know what’s happening to me…I’ve been in the machine

THEY KEEP PUTTING ME BACK IN

AND I AM LOSING CONTROL!

It’s all BLURRING together

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I’m holding a rifle…Gettysburg is in the distance…

I JUST STABBED A MAN AND THERE IS BLOOD ON MY WAISTCOAT!

I’m at the opera…the Soprano is so beautiful…

I’m in bed with her… she cries as I fuck her

I’m speaking at the Forum…NOONE LISTENS!

My mind is gone…

Just give me something...give me something good!