I'm a broke down car in an alleyway that never made it where it was needed

I just sit and rust while I lose my faith in everything

I just sit in the side streets and dream about sitting around a flame

With my Dad, his Dad, and both his brothers

And the things they'd say to me

I hope they'd be proud of me even though I'm not

Cause even with their half of blood I'm still not fit to lose everyone I got

What do I have that you want

I found God on the way back from your funeral

I left him alone on the side of the road on the drive home

I hope he knows it's personal

Cause I can't let this go

I'll never let this go

I spent the night in a parking lot

Cried my weights worth in tears

Thinking of all the time I missed with the people I lost in the last five years

Is this growing up?

Carry the weight on your shoulders

Is this growing up?

Or my own private hell

I don't believe in God but I hope there is one to take care of everyone I lost who did

And maybe some day I won't finally blame my lack of faith for all my pain

Cause I can't find the white gates