[verse 1]

Nowadays I'm always pissed off

I'm about to punch a hole through a brick wall

Went a put all my problems in a ziplock

Drive up and toss them off a other fucking cliff dog

Cuss truth is I've been loosing my grip

I don't drink but i feel like abusing the 5th

And writing my goodbyes and take a cruise to that cliff

Drive it straight off

Never leaving proof of that shit

A year ago

I crashed my car on purpose

Nobody knows about it

I was feeling worthless

I told myself that i shouldn't hit the brakes

Last second i realized it was a mistake

I slowed down

Thank god that i did it

But sometimes i won't lie

Still wish that i didn't

Cuss all the stress could've ended with the fatal collision

Cause of the places id been in

And i just hated the vision

I thought i had lost

I came so close just to giving up

I wanted to die

Cause i thought no one would give a fuck

I was always down on myself

I can't recall a single day where i was proud of myself

Cause every single day i thought id drown in myself

I had no fucking clue what i had found in myself to now say

[hook]

I'm sorry mom

I'm sorry dad

I'm sorry eddie

I'm sorry andre

I'm sorry matt

And I'm sorry sammy

Please do not forget me

I've told myself to get up

Told myself i should give myself 6 months

After that if my life didn't switch up

Only then would i have the right to give up

I lied one more after this

[verse 2]

Pain killers take the physical pain

But what happens when I'm feeling like I'm sick in the brain

Cuss i should be happy

My fans come in thousands

But I've been more stressed since i entered the fame

I have fans

Thats a weird thing to say

It excites me when i think about a year from today

Cuss a year ago vs how i feel today

Is so drastically different

It can't be real

Theres no way

But it is

Can't come to grips with it

So think about life and how pissed it is

Still never feel like i deserve the listens

Or fans

Or the people who been trying to get with it

I still suck at school

I still work a job that i fucking hate

I still feel like I'm writing songs

That i feel like are nothing great

I'm still afraid that Ill suffocate

I still pray to god for a fucking break

He still never listens

Ill fucking wait

I wanna move to another state

So i can run away

I think nothings changed

But everything changed

Except for my mind

The stress is the same

People believe in me

I dont understand what they see in me

I'm always afraid of them leaving me

I can't see the reasons to be with me

But i can't let them down

Cuss i promised to somehow

Make everybody proud