It was long ago

Seems like a dream

The day I sucked the air

From a bottle of whipped cream

And I got real high

And things got real slow

And I started talking like this

What's going on?

I don’t know

And then I sold my car

For a Greatful Dead ticket

My dad yelled at me

And he grounded me

And he said I was a dick

It was the worst day of my life

And I'll never forget

But the very next day

I was doing bong hits

In the back of my friend's chevy

So don’t tell me

We're winning the war on drugs

Cause drugs are like a big ol' can of raid

And you're all little bugs

And don't tell me

To not get high

'Cause I'm as low as I can get

Without kissing your ass

And blowing you at the same time

Man, don't tell me about love and peace

When one of the Joneses have a handgun

Pointed at me

Don’t tell me to just say no

I’m an addict, I say don't let me go

Whatever happened to sex drugs ’n' rock 'n' roll?

Now we just have AIDS crack and techno

So they busted me

So I say "fuck them up"

For selling dope

And I went to jail

And I wasn’t forgiven

Like that little fucker who shot the pope

And he said I had the right to remain silent

And they couldn't explain

But I didn't resist

And I was invited

'Cause all I ever wanted was the right to remain

And they questioned me

Yeah, they asked me "why?"

And I said "fuck off"

I don't think I should be shot

For selling pot

It's just my little way of saying "high"

Now my record's all fucked up

Now two times a week

They make me piss in a cup

Well what I want to do

Is piss down their throats

Okay, here's the sensitive part

They told me

That times have changed

Cause our parents had

Hendrix, Janice and Jim

But what about

River Phoenix and Kurt Cobain

And they told me

To praise the lord

But I've been waiting for so long

For him to call me back

I think I'm gonna go pray

At Betty Ford

And they told me

That life was fair

I can't smoke a plant that was made by God

But I can kill my wife if I'm a football player

And they told me

They told me to just ignore

But I'd rather smoke crack

Outta Nancy Reagan's skull

While gettin' a blowjob

From Tipper Gore