[Verse 1]

Eight years and not a damn thing changed

I mean, I grew a little taller, but I'm sick and deranged

This dead weight on my shoulders got me feelin' so chained

A blunt will surely just diminish the pain

Sunday paper, saw your name on the page

Tryna hold back all these tears and bite my tongue through the rage

Disappear inside my head and kill the thought with some sage

Heaven sent, it's evident that you gon' light up the stage

[Verse 2]

And I know that you gon' make it to those pearly white gates

I'm a sinner, no god inside my realm decidin' my fate

But religion's how you found yourself and I think that's great

And growin' up, my mama told me that it's never too late

But my mind's in a crate, an asylum of doubt

I don't think the preacher likes the words that exit my mouth

Believin' in myself is my own personal route

​guardin guards his guardian angel as the demons come out

And they got me shakin' hands with the strangers in my brain

Am I reachin' for the stars or am I just going insane?

I've been trapped inside this hell of mine long before the rain

Can somebody shut me up and put an end to all this pain?

I wanna fight it, ignite it, smite it right out of me

My blood's runnin' colder and I'm tryna find some kinda heat

The burner is parallel, paralyzing the incomplete

My stomach engulfed in the toxic tonic of River Street

And I don't know who I am

Traded my soul when I was fifteen for a couple of grams

You'd think by now with all the time that's passed, I'd be givin' a damn

But all I care about is her, music and startin' a fam', fuck

[Bridge]

Yeah, yeah

[Verse 3]

Woke up all alone inside of this bed

I check my phone, no missed calls or texts and Snapchat is dead

I close my eyes and try to see you, but you're too far ahead

Into the mist, I fuckin' travel searchin' for you again

'Cause sometimes I sit and ponder 'bout it

If I'm just being honest

I over think the simple things and treat it like a novice

The raindrops in my head started spittin' sonnets

I'm losin' hope, but I'ma love you 'til the end, I promise

And I'ma try my fuckin' hardest just to understand

Why my head is sick, the answers lie inside my hand

Is it cause I'm growin' up? 'Cause this isn't what I had planned, I

Just wanna call you, enthrall you inside my wonderland

The ceiling's cavin' in, the walls are kinda thin

The locks are broken, a token of what I'll give

When he talked to me 'bout it, I thought I had found a friend

But he took an advantage of letting himself attend

Gripped me tight and made me do what I did

Yet confusion kept me quiet 'cause I'm only a kid

Been forsaken from the truth when other problems exist

But I was only fuckin' seven, ain't no way to resist

Cracked the code, but I can't find a way to fix 'cause

These thirteen years have had a secret in the mix

I can't go back and change it and it makes me fuckin' sick

And if I ever run into you, best expect a fuckin' brick

Six feet under isn't nowhere near

I'ma tie this noose and hang you from your own chandelier

Watch you squirmin' like a bitch and slit your throat to your ear

Spittin' on you like the sidewalk as you tremble in fear

Fuck you for all these hands that I'm dealt

I remember being sixteen, made a noose out a belt

Tried to hang up in my closet like the shirts, but I fell

But one time ain't even nothin' 'cause there's eighteen as well

[Outro]

You birthed a monster underneath all my bones

Can somebody check his pulse? I think this sorcerer's stoned

Marijuana and the whiskey when I'm feelin' alone

I'm sittin' here, but I don't feel like I'm home

No, no, no