[Verse 1]

I keep hanging around your kitchenette

And I'm gonna get a pot to cook you in

I stick my fingers in your biscuit jar

And crush all your gingerbread men

[Chorus]

'Cause I want you

Yeah, I want you to be my friend

Yeah, I want you

Yeah, I wanna be your solitary man

[Verse 2]

You try not to wake the executioner

He's sleeping with a fireman's axe

He leaves his glass eye on the pillow, babe

And his dentures floating there in a glass

Come, it makes it hard to relax

It makes it hard to relax

[Chorus]

When I want you

Yeah, I want you to be my friend

Ah, come on

It's getting hard to relax

It's getting hard to get my act together

Yeah

I'm gonna go out and open up the window and check outside

[Verse 3]

Well, what's this husband of yours ever given to you?

Oprah Winfrey on a plasma screen

And a brood of jug-eared, buck-toothed imbeciles

The ugliest fucking kids I've ever seen

[Chorus]

Ah baby, I want you

Yeah, I want you to be my girlfriend

And maybe we could send those kids to play down on the street

And shouldn't you put shoes on their feet?

It's getting hard to relax, it's getting hard to relax

Open the window

Who's that coming up the back stair?

Tippy toe, tippy toe, tippy toe, tippy toe coming up the back stairs

[Verse 4]

Now I know that you don't really dig him

And I can see that you want it to quit

But if you want to get your hand out of the cookie jar

You have to let go of the biscuit

[Chorus]

Ah baby, I want you

Yeah, I want you to be my girlfriend

Yeah, I want you

Yeah, I wanna be your solitary man

I wanna be that man

[Outro]

She going tippy toe

Ah man, is that really the time?

Go and open up the window and look outside

Tippy toe, tippy toe coming up the stair

Maybe you should take the kids out

It's hard to relax, it's hard to relax

It's hard to relax, it's hard to relax

Get my act together

Get my act together