The following entry is based on actual events in my life

For those who was wondering, yes this really happened

Dear Journal

I don't even know what to write

Today was just another really bad day in my life

I feel like cryin' but honestly I done run outta tears

So many thing have happened to me

I done run outta fears

Damn its hard bein' 16 knowing it's just me

I'm convinced that every one in this world is against me

Why don't these people just stop bothering me?

Would they stop if I swallowed a bottle of Tylenol 3?

Cuz honestly I'm seriously thinking about it

Hell everywhere I go I find me thinkin about it

Damn Journal why is this the only option I have?

Other than going back to school and gettin' bullied in class

Please help me

You are the only friend that I have

Other than the imaginary ones I've had in my past

You know what? It's probably better to die

I'll write in you tomorrow and let ya know what I decide

Dear Journal

Why do things have to be this way?

Sick of feeling this way I wanna leave this place

Please Journal, make these people go away

Before I pull a Columbine and they get blown away

Why Journal?

Why it me why does it have to be me instead of someone else's child?

Why Journal? do you not answer my thoughts

I guess I just deserve to die

Dear Journal

Guess what I got some really good news

I was walking through a park today and found a gun after school

Man I'm excited I don't even know what to do

Should I use it on my self or should I take it to school?

Man this is cool you should see the barrel and trigger

Better yet Journal you should taste the barrel and trigger

I know I did in fact soon as I got to my house

I ran straight in to the bathroom and stuck it dead in my mouth

Pulled the hammer back gettin ready to squeeze

Laughin and cryin the at the same time on my knees

But something told me "No, Please don't go"

And while I was hesitating some one knocked on the door

I got scared, took the gun out of my mouth

Put it back in my pocket grabbed my backpack and got out

Smiling cuz I know next time I'll be better about it

Heading back to my room so I can tell ya about it

Dear Journal

Who do things have to be this way?

Sick of feeling this way I wanna leave this place

Please Journal make these people go away

Before I pull a Columbine and they get blown away

Why Journal?

Why it me why does it have to be me instead of someone else's child?

Why Journal? do you not answer my thoughts

I guess I just deserve to die

The only thing we ever needed was for somebody to love us

Pay attention to these kids

Some of them need help

Help 'em

Love em'

Or they'll end up like me