Cool as Hell - Intellectual

[Verse 1: Jackson]

Statues of age-old, stone-shed tears

There's a myriad of reasons why, none of which I need to hear

What I'm listening for resonates at very low frequencies

Only seismologists speak to me

Recently, wheels that squeak have no sequel

Refusing to roll like predictable people

The nunnery is harnessing sexual frustration

Converting it into fuel, powering the congregation

Tour bus for a time travel fantasy

Six thousand years in the past to dismantle the

Ludicrous theories of secular scientists

Backing their statements with useless appliances

I apply knowledge from tabloid horoscopes

Reminding me, all is not lost, there is hope

Play the lottery, unplug the discord

Flex your authority, carry a clipboard

My life is fleeting; I shall soon befall the fate of mortals

My only dying wish is to be greeted at the portal

Of all eternal Hell by he whom I've put all my faith in

I'll dedicate my afterlife to serve the mighty Satan

Look at the bottom of that fir tree: a tell-tale sign

Somebody was here, wired it up, put it together in no time

Who did the deed? Who tried to rid the woods

Of three dudes that cuss too much and do no good?

They trample vegetation with their ATV's

So now they're fucking with the ghost of Johnny Appleseed

And he's a charitable spirit, but not so Christ-like

He wouldn't take his tin-pot hat to their windpipes

My life is fleeting; I shall soon befall the fate of mortals

My only dying wish is to be greeted at the portal

Of all eternal Hell by he whom I've put all my faith in

I'll dedicate my afterlife to serve the mighty Satan

NataS ot flesruoy eviG

Snoinim s'legna nellaf eht fo eno emoceB

Ssenkrad eht htiw secrof nioJ (Give yourself to Satan)

NataS ot flesruoy eviG (Give yourself to Satan)

(Give yourself to Satan)