(Gradient):
First impression when you met me might have thought I was a weird one
You were right, here's proof, straight into your eardrums
I don't spit raps, my saliva's pure acid
It only ever burns my throat and leaves my breath raspin'
Ask me one more time if I can bust some fuckin' rhymes
I'll throw you off a bridge and watch the bubbles rise
I ain't down to rhyme with no stupid MCs
I just load up my tech 9 and start shootin' them freaks
Trained in the brain you can't mess with my psyche
I'm runnin' the block, like a Lego wearin' Nikes
Even if you don't like me, admit I spit so rightly
I stand six feet tall, none of y'all can fight me
Seriously though, I do this shit so easily
For many other MCs, this ain't feasibly
Possible, obstacle after obstacle
Set up in front of me I eat 'em up like a pasta bowl
Complete with matzo balls, I'm unstoppable
You can't say shit about how "Asians ain't rhymers"
Forgot about our haikus like y'all had alzheimers
What I'm doing now, it's just a hobby on the side
But I still eat y'all like sushi with wasabi on the side
Wash it down with some sake
You're never gonna block me
You could be at Kinko's and still couldn't copy
My flow so dope that I got you all listening
Even though I wrote this stupid verse when I was 15
Immature kid, I had a bigger head
But older white women said I'm very articulate
Up in Eugene, in between, watchin' Scooby Doo
I had a feeling I was kinda unusual
Never any Asians in my neighborhood
And if there were, I bet none of them would stay for good
It was all white people and a few from Mexico
Like my best friend Brian. He's next to go!
And he's got big testicles! Briaaan!
(Brian Steveson):
Let me take you to a world that's devoid of mediocrity
My words are so wise that you would think I'm reading Socrates
Aristotle, full throttle, Charlie's Angels sequel
But hear my rhymes out; they are anything but fecal
So great, overweight, gotta keep it bright and shiny
Colgate, don't hate or else you can kiss my hiney
Yeah I said "hiney," you can laugh, Brick Tamland
Now look into my mind, open it up like a SPAM can
Fresh outta Mickey D's, put down the Big Mac
Now I've got the time to lay down all these sick raps
Man I'm not rich, but it doesn't mean I'm sad about it
Cause through my life I've had happiness in vast amounts and
Just because you graduated with the highest honors
Doesn't justify that I am any less of a scholar
You think you're smarter than me, think you'll go farther than me
Just because in high school science class was harder for me?
Well you're wrong so cut it out, I don't need to hear your cheap attack
I'll ignore all your rumours; I'll save that for Fleetwood Mac
I go my own way, cause my dreams don't stop
And I'll live life dubstep when I let the bass drop
Where the real madness starts and I resume with more intensity
Working hard at things, it just makes a lot more sense to me
Until that day comes, I will work my most fun job
Sitting on my butt all day and watching tons of Spongebob
I still love the things that I did in my youth
And I'm way more awkward than George Michael Bluth
So many great things that I wish I could acknowledge
And half of them happened in my freshman year of college
In more sticky situations than if you were in a taffy truck
A looney U of O student, that makes me a daffy duck
It's time for me to go now, I've got other crap to do
But it's been a real pleasure that you let me rap 2 u
Hook:
You, we're rapping to you my friend and only you
To you! So don't ever say we never did nothing for you
(Lakutis):
Sexy Lexi, ask what the address be
Press be makin' a face, Dizzy Gillespie
Applause, pause, hand me my ESPY
Grammy, I'm Leslie Nielsen, you know I'm chillin'
Float like a butterfly come my sugar baby
On my shoulders, 7 million, sugar babies
Float away on my good looks and charm
(Gradient):
But good looks and charm only get you so far
When you never work hard
But you think you'll be a star
And you say that you're a rapper but you never spit a bar
You say you got drive but you're never in the car
Everyone is just a pebble in the jar, man
Come on, search for me, Carmen
San Diego like Ron Burgundy
Panda birth
Y'all stay classy, planet Earth