[Verse 1]

Johnny has a problem he’s notorious with Mac’s

Chatting up the girls he is laboriously crass

He’s a chancer, he’s a chancer

[Verse 2]

Paula is appalling every time she has a bath

She leaves the door wide open so her neighbour has to pass

She’s a chancer she’s a chancer

[Chorus 1]

And everyone scream, scream, scream, scream, scream, scream, scream

Everybody scream, scream, scream, scream, scream, scream

[Verse 3]

Kicking all the coke cans that are intricately spiked

A creation from the junkies you know owe, owe, owe

If only for a night

[Chorus 2]

Scream, scream, scream, scream, scream, scream, scream

Everybody scream, scream, scream, scream, scream

[Bridge]

You kindly answered take it or leave it

Maintaine it your such a chancer

I don’t know if I should salute you who knows the answer

Maybe tomorrow I'll leave you, you little dancer

[Verse 4]

Sitting on the fence so very eloquently poised

Thinking do I like the girls or do I like the boys

He’s a chancer, he’s a chancer

[Verse 5]

Audrey is atrocious her shenanigans with cat

She hasn’t even told her that she’s up the duff with Matt

She’s a chancer she’s a chancer

[Chorus 1]