When the baby pukes on your favourite boots

When your daddy farts on his credit cards

When your sister's smashed and your car is trashed

Grandma lost her hair - yes-ter-day it was there

And the cheesy smell makes you think you've gone to hell

It's holiday, it's holiday

The best time of the year...

Brother likes the seňoritas a new one every day

Now he's got this funny rash that won't seem to go away

The twins ate calamaries now they're puking all the while

And fifty thousand cucarachas greet you with a smile

It's holiday, it's holiday

The best time of the year...

When the car breaks down and it's belching clouds of smoke

When someone nicked your wallet and the kids are snorting coke

When father kicks the tyres while mama's kicking him

Shouting he's a "loser" and she'll tear him limb from limb

It's holiday, it's holiday

The best time of the year...

But the camping site is cheesy and mother's feeling queasy

And the twins have diarrhoea it's the same thing every year

The food is "a l'ajilio" and my shoes are full of sand

And father's getting sun-burned coz he never gets a tan

And grandma's found this waiter I think his name's Francisco

And while grandpa drinks sangria they're practising flamenco

Coz you're on holiday yea, you're on holiday yea

You're on holiday the best time of the year...

Coz you're on holiday yea, you're on holiday

We're all on holiday - the best time of the year...

The kids got sick - our wallets got nicked - the car broke down - far away from town

- the boot is stuck - and we're right behind this truck - the radio's broke - all it plays is "folk"

- the tires are flat - and I don't know where we're at - I've lost my phone - and I just can't wait

To get home

Another holiday - another fucking holiday

Yes it's a holiday - the best (fucking) time of the year...