I’m like a gannett in an oil slick

Wrong

But get used to it

Skin

Like Gore-Tex

Hair like four months' bed rest

Playmobil

Hayley Cropper

Two rats fucking in the car park

It looks weird

It sounds weird

Mum the picture’s all funny

James Bay’s hat’s on the buffet and you’re sucking it

George Ezra’s got his nob out

And he’s fucking it

You’re not good

You’re the opposite

I could get used to this

Mucky is the bum you kiss

Wrongy O’Dullivan

Pot this

Mucky is the bum you kiss

Moving like Jackie

Chan not Kennedy

Showboating cunt

With a canter like an Exmoor pony

What’s the remedy?

I don’t know

Stop fucking asking me

Am I still working class?

Fucking class?

Let the balrog fucking pass?

Harry Potter in the bath?

Swish and flick my fucking ass

James Bay’s hat’s on the buffet and you’re sucking it

George Ezra’s got his nob out

And he’s fucking it

Home sweet home sweet nine dart finisher

Float like a big one

Sting like a miniature

Everyone’s sick of you

Everyone’s ignoring you

Waiting for the pride of Britain

They’re not awarding you

Sweet life

Fucking AONB shithole

It’s a bloodsport

The National Trust got hands in the massacre

Fuck them

Fuck you

Fuck killing stuff

Mucky is the bum you kiss