Good job it's not a competition, mate

Because I swear down you'd fucking lose it

I got a letter with a fine, for going in the bus lane

But I don't drive

I've got choccy in my pocket

I've got bits

Len Goodman's dead

I'm having a party and you're not invited

I'm building a castle and you're not getting in

It's a motte-and-bailey, Tess Daly, twice daily (Can I have some crisps)

Why isn't everyone on Earth like me (Can I have some crisps)

It smells like poo in here

Everyone's dressеd like Doctor fucking Who in here

Why's hе got a bookbag?

It's a good job it's not a competition, mate

Because I swear down you'd fucking lose it

I get busy drinking fizzy drinks, I fucking love it

Black gold, rot my teeth

Don't care, I'll fucking gum it

Cos I'm the kind of guy who sees a lucky dip

You see a construction skip

Jumble selling wares to the enemy

Storage at capacity, unlimited activity

There's nothing you can offer, cos I'm a chillaholic

Head back, bric-a-brac, waiting for that trickle trickle

White goods, full slack, yeah

I know definitions endlessly, rotten positivity

I don't read, anything I need is on the telly

Charge you six pound for a handshake

Make sure you wash it, I don't know who wipes his bum

I never asked him, I'm the kind of guy who goes on second sitting

Whip off the belt, I sit down eat my dinner

Don't complain about it, only eat sugar on the weekends

Where'd you get your white goods? Facebook Market

It's out of control, I'm in control, I've got six pounds

All in change, just give me that handshake, oh

You're not the enemy, you're somewhere in between

A childhood dream and a pyramid scheme

I'm thick as shit, I'm not, but I look it

I've got apps, I've got a phone and I know how to use it

I've got audiobooks

I've got audiobooks

I've got audiobooks

I've got audio books

It goes www dot make it stop shit shop dot com

Oh, past the interview

What's the mood? Bad

What's the attitude? Bad

Where's the good news? Forty minutes sitting in the bathroom

Sugar free beans, put my own sugar in it

Window up, hot car, fucking dog trapped in it

Chucking bin bags out of the first floor window cos I can't be bothered

Can I have some crisps

I can't be bothered

Can I have some crisps

Can I have some crisps (Twice daily)

Can I have some crisps

I've got choccy in my pocket (Can I have some crisps)

I've got bits

I've got choccy in my pocket (Can I have some crisps)

I've got bits

I've got choccy in my pocket (Can I have some crisps)

I've got bits

I've got choccy in my pocket (Can I have some crisps)

I've got bits