My mouth tastes like the nosebleed I had yesterday when I thought about how much it hurt to watch you walk away

So I pinched my nose and cleaned up the stains when I noticed that nosebleeds taste like pain

I'm kinna terrified of silence so I'll smoke in my room to distract from the blood I'll make the fire alarm play a fucking tune

But it just regurgitates the past because I've noticed that this fire alarm sounds like my heart being smashed

I've fallen out of love with bеing awake enough to evеn think

So tie me to the bathroom sink

Inject me with 32 winks

I'll save 7 for this week so one eye can keep a look out and

1 for if I see you when I pass the fuck out

Seeking the feeling of sleeping and dreaming about my beating heart

Bleeding on your speakers and sheets and seeping through your ceiling

Screaming 'I'll break you like you've broken me'

Over and over and over and...

Ohh shit

Hi

I'm glad I saved that wink

I'll deploy it to hide the stains of sobriety's black ink so now

I'm handing you a cigarette

Surprised you haven't figured yet there's tears behind my eyelids so I'm trying not to blink

Your skin laspes in my mind as my pupils dilate

Thinking back to all the times I've felt like I should wait

To mention all the things that I've wanted to say

Cause if i say them I'll expose that deep inside I'm on the brink

Maybe that's my deepest fear

Too many conversations rehearsed, immersed in aspersing words as an aversion to dispersion of hurt to serve my surging thirst for her numbness

Verging on the point of if you

Watched me curl up underneath the black wing of death

I wouldn't know what to tell you with my last breath

And now my mind is just a spirit

I'm out it cause you're in it

So feel free to haunt it every minute, I'm finished

I'm sick of hurdles obscuring view of a better me

I'm sick of pole vaulting fractures just for therapy

In memory of the agony of falling back

There's two ways to go it's time to choose field or track

Which means contracting the contractual tracker on my mind track

Traction only works if you're on the track at first

And I don't wanna backtrack which is why I write these tracks

To train myself to stay on the rails

And if that fails I'll just have to hold my breath while I witness the death of our rose

Gold was all I dug for ever since I was a minor

Major things in mind but never mind

It all caught fire

When I turned old enough to buy a lighter

I smoke away the memory of being left to rot in the dirt like I was nothing and the picture of my blood in your hands

The smoke lies but at least it helps me get some sleep

So for now I'll shut my eyes

I open them to a warm glow

I squint while my eyes adjust to the light burning through a broken window

And you're laying on the bed on your back in just my tshirt

And fuck you look so good

I get closer and your nose is bleeding too

I go to offer you an already red tissue

Then a comedown grabs reality's hand and tells me that I miss you

Fuck I miss you

I wanna fill my cup but I'm so drunk, so drunk

I wanna sober up but I've no luck, no luck

So I'll ignite my skin on the sofa, sofa

And hope that we're not over, over

And I hope I'll be alright coz I got nothing left

Now the noose is getting tight coz I love you to death

When I'm out you're a weight on my shoulders guess that means you're ahead

I conserve my labour just so I don't leave the party red

Just roaming round the block I'm in a dark age

Easy to get rocked I'm in a hard place

You always wear a mask just for saving face

I hope you were short on money when you said you needed change

I wanna fill my cup but I'm so drunk, so drunk

I wanna sober up but I've no luck, no luck

So I'll ignite my skin on the sofa, sofa

And hope that we're not over, over

I wanna fill my cup but I'm so fucked, so fucked

I wanna sober up but I've no luck, no luck

So I'll ignite my skin and hope that we're not done

Never tell me why but I've recaptured all my thirst to think

So cut me from the bathroom sink

And give me back my 40 winks

I wanna save my life so I can use it to get back at you

To make you feel like this there's nothing that I won't do

You kinna miss the pain when you're immune to other feelings

So I'll smoke inside my room until my nose returns to bleeding

Because the fire alarm sounds like your smile as you pushed me out the door

And my nosebleed tastes like the way you whispered 'I dont think I love you any more'