[Verse 1]

There was a lawyer named Joe employed to find loopholes

For brands like Nabisco to legalize fructose

Before he'd go to sleep at night he'd count his money

Made some good investments in his 20's (in the 80's)

He had a condo in Manhattan, a beachfront in Nantucket

A high-rise in Miami, and a wife with bun in the oven

Plus a side piece, a certified dime piece

He got a stomach virus, and they buried him five deep

Aunt Doreen was nailed to the TV

Her lifestyle contradicts her religious beliefs

She would talk about the box since menopause

Healthy as an ox with many mental scars

One day on her way home from mass

Her high heel slipped off the gas

Flipped her Grand Am head smashed, half through the windshield

They buried her with four other strangers in Pittsfield

[Hook]

A lawyer, and a copper and a doctor in the same casket

A junkie, and a baby and a hussie in the same casket

A rapper, and an athlete and a pastor in the same casket

A crossdresser and an executive professor in the same casket

[Verse 2]

Sleepy Scott got tattoos of tiny dots on the wrong side of the track marks he's on

His girl noticed when some money went missing

Most his friends did this shit with him

Caught hep C in Virginia, swapping syringes

Spike still in him when he heard a knock at the window

All of a sudden then the door got busted

Feds stormed in fuckin like they all was dusted

They turned scott’s mop to a pond

Left him leakin in the bathtub to rot

A chip for every arm, that’s the future

A bag on a boxcar headin for Chattanooga

Half a gram Pam scored well on exams

Brown hair, blue eyes, full ride to Yale

By spring semester she couldn’t take the pressure

She flunked her electives so she fucked the professor

And after he came in her she made him dinner

Lemon chicken and chocolate mousse cake for dessert

Pam dropped out when her seed popped out now her baby daddy’s leavin for Moscow

Pam panicked, blew a bag of yak and drove to her mans house frantic, stabbed him

Put the little bastard in her Jan sport backpack

(?)

[Hook]

A junkie and a baby and a hussy in the same casket

A cross dresser an exec and a professor in the same casket

A jehova a baby and a soldier in the same casket

A baker a painter and a faker in the same casket

[Outro]

We’re all the same turning gray in the grave and they’ll bury us 5 deep to save a little space

A Mormon and a Muslim and a warden in the same casket

A chiropractor a gyno and an actor in the same casket

An ex and a baby and a vet in the same casket

With the masses

Food for maggots

Food for thought

Lunch for maggots