You tell me everyday

Where would I be without you

Oh, I don't even know

It's the middle of September

I slept maybe for an hour

I have to make a flight by seven

I'll be gone just for the weekend

For two shows outside of Philly

That will pay my rent completely

I feel kinda sick like always

I'm not ready

There are still glass shards in the kitchen

From the glass jar that I broke when I poured in boiling water

I was less shocked by the shatter

Than that I never saw it coming

Ethan said, when we were younger

That weird summer in Columbus

"Things are written so big that you can't even see them."

We are driving to the airport

Fighting about something

I read later it's not uncommon

To not be able to remember

Any details or how you got there

Like what even really happened?

Never really even mattered

And you tell me I'm included

But I always feel like nothing

While your friends whisper about my weight

And how they can see the outline of my stomach through my t-shirt

See my skeleton climb out of my fucking mouth

And start running away from this as fast as possible

Leaving it to some other hapless fucker

To get tricked into forgetting

And having fights they can't remember

I hope you feel perfect

I hope that you stay famous

I hope that your fans write poems to you

About how you truly changed them

And I hope they squeal and preen

And tell you how you're so amazing that they can't even process it

I hope that no one ever knows you

On some broken, rainy morning

Before the sun clears through the clouds

In a sky that is eternally apologizing

Walk alone down to the banks of the rising river

And with your hands in the sand

Dig a small patch of ground

And lie there repeating "I was wrong"

Until either you feel better or the slow waves overtake you

Neither one will happen

You tell me everyday

Where would I be without you

Oh, I don't even know