[Intro]

I can ride my bike with no handlebars

No handlebars, no handlebars

I can ride my bike with no handlebars

No handlebars, no handlebars

[Verse 1]

Look at me, look at me

Hands in the air like it's good to be

Alive, and I'm a famous rapper

Even when the paths are all crooked-y

I can show you how to do-si-do

I can show you how to scratch a record

I can take apart the remote control

And I can almost put it back together

I can tie a knot in a cherry stem

I can tell you about Leif Ericson

I know all the words to "De Colores"

And I'm proud to be an American

Me and my friends saw a platypus

Me and my friend made a comic book

And guess how long it took?

I can do anything that I want 'cause look—

[Chorus 1]

I can keep rhythm with no metronome

No metronome, no metronome

And I can see your face on the telephone

On the telephone, on the telephone

[Verse 2]

Look at me, look at me

Just called to say that it's good to be

Alive, in such a small world

I'm all curled up with a book to read

I can make money, open up a thrift store

I can make a living off a magazine

I can design an engine sixty-four miles to a gallon of gasoline

I can make new antibiotics

I can make computers survive aquatic conditions

I know how to run a business

And I can make you wanna buy a product

Movers, shakers, and producers

Me and my friends understand the future

I see the strings that control the systems

I can do anything with no resistance 'cause—

[Chorus 2]

I can lead a nation with a microphone

With a microphone, with a microphone

And I can split the atom of a molecule

Of a molecule, of a molecule

[Trumpet Solo]​

[Verse 3]

Look at me, look at me, driving and I won't stop

And it feels so good to be alive and on top

My reach is global, my tower secure

My cause is noble, my power is pure

I can hand out a million vaccinations

Or let 'em all die in exasperation

Have 'em all healed from their lacerations

Or have 'em all killed by assassination

I can make anybody go to prison

Just because I don't like 'em

And I can do anything with no permission

I have it all under my command because—

[Chorus 3]

I can guide a missile by satellite

By satellite, by satellite

And I can hit a target through a telescope

Through a telescope, through a telescope

And I can end the planet in a holocaust (Ah!)

In a holocaust (Ah!)

In a holocaust (Ah!)

In a holocaust (Ah!)

In a holocaust (Ah!)

In a holocaust (Ah!)

(Ah!)

[Outro]

I can ride my bike with no handlebars

No handlebars, no handlebars

I can ride my bike with no handlebars

No handlebars, no handlebars