[Intro: Jonny 5 & The Miracle Sisters]

Now, normally I'm pretty conflict-avoidant

Just ignore shit if it's just annoying

I don't write a diss track about "Stranger Things" episode 7

I'd just be like, "That's disappointing"

But recently, I was just acquainted

With a young man, maybe once-fan of ours

(Hey look, this guy's covering "Handlebars")

That's cool, what's he say in his bars?

(Umm, instead of "my bike," he says "your girl")

Oh, that's really clever (Oh, it gets even better)

Oh, naturally, these days it has to be thoroughly crafted to be received fashionably

(Oh, yeah, you have to see this

His masterpiece is like a master thesis

In this project, he concocts a fascinating twist of logic

Describes a woman's body like it's just an object)

Hmm, watch out, watch out, hold up, hold up

[Refrain: Jonny 5 & The Miracle Sisters]

I think that's been done

Yeah, it's been done

(Well, maybe, yeah)

I think that's been dumb

Yeah, and then some, hmm

(Yeah, I guess so)

I won't hold it against him

Hold it against him

(Oh, really? Why not?)

Because he's just 21

Tryna get attention

(Actually, he's twenty-two)

Oh, then that's disappointing

(His name is Logan Paul)

Oh, I don't listen to boy bands

(No, man! All the kids love his stuff

You don't know him at all?) What the fuck?

This guy's got like a million followers

(12 million, way more than all of yours)

Probably has like a billion dolla-ers

(Well, if you care so much, then call a law-y-er)

[Interlude]

You see that bike? He's gonna fall off

Honey, ain't nobody in that video have booty like mine; that's why he can ride it with no handlebars

He don't need one, he don't need one! Ain't no cake!

Come around here, you'll get lost

Help!

Missing person's report, ha!

[Verse: Jonny 5 & The Miracle Sisters]

Now, why you gotta do it like that?

Took a nice track and abuse it like that

With your stupid white rap

Follow my music, my path, but crash into an ice patch

And it threw your ass back to the bougie heights

That I presume you might inhabit

I don't really know your music like that

I mean, I don't really know your movies like that

I guess I don't really get what you do

So put your mic back on the bike rack tonight

'Cause my lady says she's not attracted by

Male-dominant dumb shit, that could die

Look, Donald Trump's kid has arrived

That's a woman, that's a bike

That's a young kid, that's a mind

That is something that you might

Consider maybe just a little bit?

I know it's all just a joke, but I disavow

The whole system's broke, gotta fix it now

You can't handle bars, so you mangle ours (Mmm)

'Till you split the spokes, now they're sticking out

Like Pinocchio's nose that grows and twists around

Hokey flows you keep pissing out

Just to get a crowd to buy merchandise (Mmm)

With our words inscribed on 'em? That doesn't seem right

I think this clown here deserves some pies on him

I'll put these rhymes in my first advice column

If you like someone, don't blatantly bite from 'em (Mmm)

If you like women, don't make a bike from 'em

God, sorry if I sound too do-goody, but

For the sake of our community, huh

I'ma take this opportunity

To let you know there's another stage after puberty

[Outro: The Miracle Sisters]

Mmm

Watch out, watch out, hold up, hold up