Oh how I tried

To make the most of acting

But the most I could find

Was an infomercial part

For a toaster with lights

I played the 13th extra

As I watched late at night

Epiphanies did start

Since 1954

There's been a high demand

For nurses and doctors

In movies and tv

So to keep my job secure

I had a master plan

I’d do ten thousand hours of method practice

Just so I could be

A doctor

An actor playing a doctor

Waiting for the offer of

The role to change my life

A doctor

An actor playing a doctor

But I’m not yet a great actor and

The staff is getting wise

Darling you know

I had the best intentions

But I could not control

The way our hearts collide

So I’m letting you go

'Cause I can't face consequences

If my lies are exposed

And you're accessorized

And one day you’ll understand

I had no other choice

You’ll turn on your TV and

You’ll recognize a voice

Behind a podium

Shouting to a nurse

A nurse that he once loved so long ago

Is an actor

An actor who was a doctor

Your long lost former lover

Holding in his hand

An Oscar

For the indie hit of the winter

Where he plays a lovesick doctor

A performance he commands

And so tonight I break it off

But instead of crying, oh, you start to laugh

And you admit

You're not a nurse

You are a writer-researcher

Investigating hospitals

(Hey, hey!)

And you admit

(An actor playing a doctor)

You're not a nurse

(Waiting for the offer of)

You are a writer-researcher

(The role to change my life)

Investigating hospitals

And I wonder when my life is over

If I’ll look back and discover

My best days were the times

I spent as a doctor