[Intro: Announcer]
Rap Battle
Peter Griffin
Versus
Deadpool
[Verse 1: Deadpool (Swizkii), Stewie Griffin (Rabi), Peter Griffin (Fightmarker)]
Looking at it now, okay: Deathstroke, The Mask, Bueller, The Postal Guy
Harley Quinn, Bugs Bunny, and... Yep!
I read all of your suggestions and I saw none say
Me vs. Fight as Jared from Subway?
Oh, whatever, uh, here's my first issue
I barely give enough of fuck about you to diss you
Step on the beat with me, you'll surely die trying
You've heard of drive-by's, I'll give you a drive— Brian!
Zip it, your Time Travel episodes are mad dumb
I thought pilots usеd to be a thing you ran from
Every now and then, your writеrs come up with something
To remind the audience of when you were sorta funny (Hahaha)
Killing attention spans when next to some Surfers
Damn, you fuck with children's heads worse than Herbert
Search "Unfunny Moments" and here's what you get
All of the seasons after MacFarlane left
And Todd McFarlane is the better comic writer, ha!
What? I needed a rhyme for— Augh!
And you look like The Blob at his cubicle job
But I think I'd rather just describe you in a song
Every day, he's obese
Downing those beers like a big Wolverine
My face is one that my mother won't see
And somehow, fatty, you're more ugly than me
[Verse 2: Peter Griffin (Fightmarker), Brian Griffin (ColeTheCole), Meg Griffin (garbageGothic)]
Holy crap, Lois! Spider-Man's ugly
The canuck would help more if he stayed away from me
When it comes to powers, this schmuck's are the lamest
Breaks through four walls, but stuck on four stages?
Welcome to Quahog, I'm glad that you visited
Cause sometimes I forget what an actual Griffin is
Remember when superheroes weren't just here for laughs?
Peter, what are you doing? ...Rap (What the fuck?)
You went to Ajax to get your cancer erased
Only to erase 99 percent of your face
Hehehe, Vanessa left ya', now you're in a rut
Ring up Domino's, you pizza-looking fuck!
Only in Origins, you ain't all that bad
Love it, except for the cast, now you got Reynolds attached
He plays you without the suit and the execs cut a check
You ruined his films (I actually really liked them—) Shut up, Meg!
We've had enough of Reddit's favorite super
And his rapey humor, fuckin' Amy Tumor
So, pay me loser, this shit was trash
Except this one verse where I kicked your ass
[Interlude: Peter Griffin (Fightmarker), The Mask (Zawesome)]
Holy crap, Lois!
I'm not Lois
[Verse 3: The Mask (Zawesome)]
Somebody, stop me, I'm smoking the track
I'll Giggity Lois and make more Sons of the Masks
I'll Jim Carrey your ass out of the door, you bitch
'Cause I'm the best green guy he's played since The Grinch (Yeah)
I heard you're the Merc with the Mouth—
[Verse 4: Jeff Bezos (Joebro), Deadpool (Swizkii)]
Fuck off
Ugh...
Peter, you're a mess–
Did you just order a package from Amazon? (What?)
Going Prime on this beat; hearing you three was torture
I'll Giggity Lois and then make some more orders
Alexa just told me some nice information (No, no, no, no, no, no! No!)
I have a second verse!
[Verse 5: Goku (yukigloom), Deadpool (Swizkii), Hancock (JosiahGAmesTV)]
Peter, you're a mess
Hey, it's me, Goku! (Fuck!)
After this verse, I think I'll go do some training
I'll Giggity Lois and then turn Super Saiyan (Man, shut up)
[Verse 6: Hancock (JosiahGAmesTV)]
Call Hancock an asshole, your neck will bend different
I'll Giggity Lois and make a couple Fresh Princes
[Spoken Word 1: Deadpool (Swizkii) & Peter Griffin (Fightmarker)]
I can't believe I was in the worst royale of all time
Spongebob, John Kramer, Herobrine...
This reminds me of the time I was in a rap battle with Herobrine!
[Verse 7: Announcer 2, Herobrine (Shimario)]
Epic Rap Battles of Brilliance
Peter Griffin
Versus
Herobrine
Two, begin!
Welcome to Minecraft, this world is iconic
My name is Herobrine, but I'm evil, ironic
[Verse 8: Deadpool Variants (Inferno Productions, Danii, ZombieLicker, Fightmarker, Dilly!, lopresti101, littleflecks, & Pierson)]
Did you forget who's the merc with the best flow?
Armas de fuego a Pedro como un perro
Twenty-two seasons and you still trade blows with chickens?
You're the worst The Simpsons since OJ Simpson
In Fortnite, I shoot you first, 'cause you're so huge it hurts
Then kill a verse like it's the fucking Marvel Universe
Giving your wife shit and your daughter no love?
X-Force, deploy from the chopper above
[Verse 9: Wolverine (Fightmarker), Colossus (Rabi), Cable (Mr. Tibbs)]
Claws out, I'm in, stop your violence
Or crawl and be silent
Like Hulk when I tried him
I've seen the future, everybody in your life's done
We may be X-Men, but you're the Giant-Sized one
[Interlude: Joe Swanson (RNG), Peter Griffin (Fightmarker), Glenn Quagmire (TaigaTonic)]
Peter, are you having trouble?
Yes, I am, Joe
Then give us something that rocks!
[Verse 10: Glenn Quagmire (TaigaTonic), Cleveland Brown (Brodecai), Joe Swanson (RNG)]
You better look like Hugh, if you face Quagmire
Or I'll giggity Jean and crea— uuuaagh!
I bring fear to the bar and the crowd as well
When I make Magneto even Brown himself (No no no no no!)
I need cable, only for when I watch Cops
But I don't need legs to sing your Swan So— AGH!
[Verse 11: Brian Griffin (ColeTheCole)]
What's up, dog?
Aughh!
[Interlude: Peter Griffin (Fightmarker) & Deadpool (Swizkii)]
All my friends are dead
Oh, they're fine, they're totally—
No, you're lying to me! (You're guilt-tripping me, trauma-dumping—)
I don't like liars (Oh no, no-no, go back)
I don't like liars! (Go back, go back, go back)
Hrgh! (Oh, ohh, oh!)
[Verse 12: Buff Peter Griffin (Fightmarker)]
(Let's go!)
You've hurt me for the last time, now face the wrath of Peter Griffin
About to end up more sick when my fucking verbal fever kicks in
Have you even had sex, you virgin? Better be scared when I pen these words, bitch
Everything you spat was less than worthless; more than fucking X-Men Origins!
Deadpool, you'll get wrecked, fool, I bend rules, you'll shit red stool
Take out your guts and make a mess, you'll be wondering if I'm from Med School
I'm the Juggernaut, my raps are hot, I break your balls cause Peter conquers
This bitch is afraid, I'm spitting so great, this win has my name like the Peter-Copter!
Let's compare our Brians, my dog and X-Men's director
White fur, blacklisted, canine, molester
Now any time they ever see Hugh clawed up they just think of the teen's poor trauma
Art overshadowed by Singer problems, like R. Kelly, the singer's opera
[Bridge: Deadpool (Swizkii), Peter Griffin (Fightmarker), Joe Swanson (RNG), R. Kelly (Ghetto Ian from Ghetto Smosh)]
What have you done?! You just shot Peter!
But I'm Peter! No, this Peter! Which Peter?! No, I mean—
Hey Peter!
I've heard the commotion, I'm here to take you in
But you've fallen for my trap and you can't escape, you bitch!
Peter gets up in Wade's face, he's looking awful mad
I'll blow us all up if I need to! Only for Wade to strike back
There's more fun in store, if you open that door!
I get close to the door... I open the door!
[Verse 13: The Mask (Zawesome), Deadpool (Swizkii)]
Somebody, stop me, I'm smoking the track
I'll Giggity Lois and make more Sons of the Masks (Alright)
I'll Jim Carrey your ass out of the door, you bi—
[Verse 14: Deadpool (Swizkii)]
Peter, you're a mess, but that geek was a snore
I've seen better Masks at a seasonal store
[Spoken Word 2: Deadpool (Swizkii), Freshy Kanal]
Why does nothing ever go my fucking way...
Oh, yeah?
What if I don't wanna, huh?
"Don't make me do this", what does that mean—
Don't even make me do this!
AHH!
[Verse 15: Deadpool (Swizkii), God (Fightmarker)]
Fuck religion, I don't have any faith
God can strike me down and take my cancer away
You dare take me in vain?
Oh, poor little Wade (Oh my, God)
All you've awakened is true verbal pain
You have a choice now: repent to your sins
Or bleed and face an Epic Rapture of History
Oh geez, Lord, I didn't mean those words
I take back everything I said since the first verse
Thank you for healing my tumorous cells
And these burn marks from being the ruler of Hell
[Verse 16: Satan (Swizkii)]
Marvel's Archangel's come out to play
I hang with Mephisto and spread rumors that he's gay
So many souls, so many found charred
I chill on my couch and watch some South Park
[Verse 17: God (Fightmarker), Satan (Swizkii)]
Fuck, you're so evil that you're kinda like a villain
And you're so evil, I bet you have s*x with ch*ldren and k*ll them
And—, and you're so evil that I bet you hate my literature
(And you're—) And I'm so evil that I'll waste your finisher! (No!)
You might be something in the MCU
But, between us, who's the worst MC— kill yourself
Damn it, I told myself that I would never touch this
But, just take out the "X-", and that's who you're in love with
[Verse 18: Satan (Swizkii), God (Fightmarker)]
I'll stab Meg and Chris, keep Brian as my living tool
Hang Marge from a tree and use Stewie for a ritual
The chances of escaping my maze are miniature
And I'm so holy that I'll waste your finisher (Noooo!)
I heard Ryan Reynolds gave a bunch of women A.I.D.S
So, Saint Peter won't let him go through the pearly gates
MacFarlane going to heaven? That's not where he'll be
He'll die in 9/11, and come straight to me
[Outro: Announcer (Fightmarker), Brian Griffin (ColeTheCole)]
Who won?
Who's next?
You decide!
Epic Rap Battles of—!
And don't forget to watch Family Guy!
YouTube Version
[Spoken Word 3: EpicLLOYD, Delivery Guy, Commenter]
Wow, I'm EpicLLOYD
Oh fuck, my pizza's here
Hey, I have a delivery for Mr. EpicLLOYD?
Gangster, let me just get your tip!
What?
EpicLLOYD, this shit was fucking trash, it bursted my ears and made me wanna kill myself, I need you to end this man's entire career
[Verse 19: EpicLLOYD (Fightmarker)]
If you think your little shit—!
[Verse 20: Green Lantern (BatSpecter), Disembodied Voice (Melody Nosurname)]
Pause and rewind!
I could've saved them
Through dark times, hope rises and blossoms
I'll Giggity Lois and create some green constructs
Green Lantern, baby, remember every vowel
Or next time, you'll have a word with the Lantern Council
When shit like this happens, I'm wondering where peace went
I still feel like my CGI was pretty dece—
[Verse 21: The Mask (Zawesome)]
Somebody—
[Hidden Instrumental Verse: Slenderman]
Find my pages, I'm faceless and godly
I'll Giggity Lois and then make some more proxies
[Hidden Acapella Verse: Kermit the Frog]
You're gonna learn today that this frog likes to hip-hop
I'll Giggity Lois and make a Muppets Babies spin-off
It's not easy being green-